


Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love

by Jomarch05



Series: My Future In Your Hands [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 16:53:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 44,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jomarch05/pseuds/Jomarch05
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in My Future In Your Hands Universe. Quinn and Rachel find themselves working on opposite coasts. Complications arise in their personal and professional lives and they are faced with difficult decisions. Faberry & Brittana.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Fame, wisdom, love, and power were mine,**_

_**And health and youth possessed me;**_

_**My goblets blushed from every vine,**_

_**And lovely forms caressed me;**_

_**I sunned my heart in beauty' eyes,**_

_**And felt my soul grow tender;**_

_**All earth can give, or mortal prize,**_

_**Was mine of regal splendour.**_

_**Lord Byron**_

It's a beautiful summer day in LA, the wind lightly blowing at her skirt. The sun seems too bright and she feels the heat on her arms as their linked hands swing back and forth. They're walking almost aimlessly although she knows how this should end. She shields her eyes with her free hand and feels a tug on her other as she turns to face her companion, stepping closer, a smile tugging the side of her mouth as she finally looks up at him.

Rachel feels his breath on her cheek, knowing that if she just moves a fraction of an inch, his lips will capture hers. His hand is already splayed across her back, cocooning her body. So she shifts slightly as his head bends down and their lips meet.

She pushes forward slightly even as his hand tightens around her, pulling her in such that she can feel the bristles on his cheek. Her low moan captured between their bodies. Her eyes shut when his hands tangle in her hair, only opening when he breaks the kiss, his hands now cupping her face, his breath ghosting over her.

"I love you."

Her eyes widen as her breath hitches and she stills, before a wide smile finally breaks out. Rachel's hands going around his neck to pull him down for another kiss as he lifts her small frame up, her legs curling around him.

"Cut"

The director's loud voice signaling the end of the scene as Rachel pushes back from Troy's embrace, stepping away as quickly as she can and resisting the urge to wipe her mouth even as her eyes scan the area, looking for the one person she needs to see.

"Hey, that was pretty good." Troy Callen can see that Rachel's uncomfortable but it doesn't faze him as long as she continues to act the way she has, in front of the camera. He needs this and he knows it'll help her career as well.

The script was brilliant and they looked great together, it was a match made in Hollywood heaven. "C'mon Rach, don't be like that." His voice is cajoling even as his eyes harden at her utter disregard for his show of friendship.

Rachel finally spots Quinn, leaning against the craft services table, her arms crossed and sunglasses shading her beautiful hazel eyes. It's the one thing that Rachel misses and her fallen expression immediately produces a response from Quinn as she pushes up her glasses to the top of her head and smiles directly at Rachel.

She misses most of Troy's words but feels his fingers tug on her arm even as Quinn's expression darkens and she pushes herself from the table and starts to stride towards them, her expression calm but her jaw tightening.

"Rach." His voice takes on a different tone that finally catches Rachel's attention even as his pull on her arm strengthens.

"I have nothing to say to you, Troy. We're filming a movie together, we're not friends so don't make me regret my decision. I am choosing to be here in my professional capacity so please respect my personal space." She sees his eyes narrow and a sneer form on his face.

"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart." He bites the last word out as he steps closer to her only to feel a hand on his chest forcefully pushing him back.

"Back off." Quinn's voice is low, almost a growl as she steps between Troy and Rachel. Her other hand is already fisted and she really wants to punch him, disregarding the fact that it's her surgical hand. Only she feels Rachel's hand on her back and it calms her down but she still does not move as she blocks him from Rachel. She sees his jaw tighten but he does not say anything, instead choosing to turn and stalk away.

Quinn sighs before she takes Rachel's hand and leads her to the trailers parked at the end of the road. She hates everything about LA, the traffic, the fake tans and even more fake smiles and she misses New York and her work and her patients at the hospital. However, this recent encounter showed that Rachel needed her here.

When Rachel had first broached the subject of doing a movie, she had been thrilled. The script was perfect and Rachel had been looking for a new challenge. Her album had gone platinum and she was still inundated with offers for different Broadway shows new ones as well as the revivals but nothing had grabbed her attention until Marcie brought her the script to read.

The part seemed like it was written specifically with Rachel in mind and it had been. A mutual director friend of both Rachel and Troy's had written it. And at Troy's urging, he had sent it to Marcie and called Rachel, imploring her to accept the part.

Rachel had fallen in love with the characterizations on the page and the story, seeing herself in the female lead and had wanted to say yes almost immediately only finally confirming after talking to Quinn because they were married and she wanted Quinn's opinion.

The story of a single mom, teaching in a third rate college and forming a state winning chorale team resonated with her. She also falls in love with the young caretaker who has Asperger's and it ends on a bitter sweet note with her moving to New York for a better job for the sake of her family, leaving her love behind.

She didn't realize that Troy had been cast as the caretaker until she flew into LA three weeks ago. He had shown up smug and defiant, telling her that there was no one else who could match her and regardless of their past, their chemistry always came through onscreen. She had wanted to vehemently deny that fact even though it was true.

He was a prick but he was a really good actor and despite her reservations, she knew that they did look good together. She had called Quinn then, distraught and almost ready to fly back. It had been Quinn's patient, calm voice that helped her work though what she really wanted.

" _So just answer my questions and we'll work through this." Quinn can hear Rachel's uncertainty flow through but she also knows how much Rachel loves the script and story. She hadn't seen her that excited since Christmas when Quinn surprised her with a visit from Shelby and Beth._

" _Do you like the director and the script?" Rachel nods at Quinn's question and finally answers it._

" _Yes."_

" _You're a phenomenal actress." She smiles at Quinn's proclamation._

" _I don't hear a question." She answers back, knowing that Quinn means every word and she feels heat infuse her entire being as she recalls Quinn whispering those words and more while her hands and lips traced a path over her body._

" _Can you act like you're in love with..Troy on screen even if he is a complete and utter asshole." Quinn had paused on Troy's name, venom dripping from her voice and it makes Rachel smile go even wider._

" _Yes, I can although…" Rachel knows that she should not feel embarrassed or frighten in stating her need. However, Quinn was a surgeon, someone with so many responsibilities and she was brilliant at her job. She saved so many lives and worked tirelessly to improve all her patients' lives._

_She didn't want to come across as selfish in monopolizing Quinn's time to just hang around on set while she acted in a movie that she truly thought could get her an academy award nomination but it was still just a movie nonetheless._

" _There's a redeye flight to LA every Friday. I can take a flight back Sunday evening." She's already booked the tickets and arranged her surgical schedule. It was going to be hectic on her but Rachel was worth it. She would always be worth it._

" _I can't ask you to do that." Rachel looks down at the ring on her left hand, knowing that she didn't need to say the words because Quinn always just knew. She could tell when Rachel had a bad day or was feeling less than the star she was. And she would get dessert from Cocoa V and feed it to her as they laid in bed tangled in each other or that one time when she flew Shelby and Beth out because her dads had gone on a cruise instead of spending Christmas with them._

" _You're not asking and I'm the one telling you that I will be there tomorrow morning." She can hear Rachel's relieved sigh over the phone and she smiles. "I love you." The proclamation never said often enough in her mind._

Quinn pushes open the trailer door and guides Rachel inside, both still not saying anything although Rachel can see that Quinn is still angry from her encounter with Troy as her fingers curl and uncurl as if itching to hit something or more appropriately some one.

"He's always been a jerk." Rachel says the words as she goes to the small kitchen to make some coffee for the both of them. She's not a great cook but somehow, Quinn loves the way she makes coffee. What she finally figured out was that Quinn liked her coffee but loved the way she would have to reach up to the top most cupboards, standing on her toes almost at pointe, her shirt riding up her back to reach the glasses and beans.

Quinn would stare at her as she measured out the beans, her tongue slightly sticking out at the corner of her mouth as she poured the water. For the life of her, Quinn just considered the whole thing sexy and from that revelation on, she would always insist that the cups and beans be placed on the topmost shelf wherever she stayed.

"What did he say to you?" Quinn modulates her tone, not wanting to show Rachel how angry she feels, not at her but at Troy and how he had grabbed Rachel's hand after the scene. It was obvious that Rachel had stepped away from him, wanting to reclaim her personal space but apparently, he couldn't take the hint.

Quinn feels her mouth go dry when she notices the expanse of Rachel's skin as she reaches up towards the open cupboard. Her eyes trailing down Rachel's body, marveling at how long her legs seem to look especially when she went en pointe.

"You know what?" Quinn moves forward, her hands trapping Rachel at the counter, as she finds Rachel's pulse point with her lips.

"What?" Rachel's eyes close as she feels Quinn's body press against hers. Her hands land on top of Quinn's, holding them even as she feels Quinn's tongue exploring her neck.

"I want to show you just how much  **I** love you." Quinn stresses the one word, knowing that it's their only truth.

Rachel turns around then, capturing Quinn's lips, her fingers already hard at work undoing the buttons on Quinn's light blue shirt, pushing the fabric off her shoulders, replacing it with kisses as she works her way down Quinn's body.

She feels Quinn's hands in her hair as she places one last kiss on Quinn's lower abdomen before Quinn gently lifts her up, her legs curling around Quinn's waist. The lost of contact causing her to moan but it's soon replaced with a sweeter sensation when Quinn carries her to the small bedroom and straddles her on the bed.

This time, she takes her time in undoing Rachel's buttons, placing a kiss after each button is undone and she does not stop as she pulls Rachel's skirt up, her finger trailing up her thigh causing Rachel to moan again, Quinn's name on her lips.

She feels the wetness coat her fingers and needs a taste as she kisses her way down. The swirl of her tongue causing Rachel to see stars as the brunette whispers her name again. She feels Rachel's hip gently rock forward , Rachel's hand reaches for hers, joining together as Rachel's body shivers, so close to the edge.

"I love you." The words softly spoken but resonating as her body shudders in climax. She will never be able to fully articulate just how important Quinn is to her. How she feels like she's invincible, beautiful, better because the blond is with her, by her side.

She would never have believed that they belonged together if someone had told her in high school, how they would finally end up together. However, Rachel knows that they really do complete each other and she's more than grateful that Quinn had taken a chance with her when she had gone for the first consult.

Quinn pulls herself up and holds onto Rachel, her body in tuned with the brunette's as she feels her heart rate pick up and heat pooling to her centre when Rachel's hand traces a path down her body, stopping at the dip at the small of her back.

Rachel's teeth graze her bottom lip even as her fingertips rake downwards leaving a tingling trail that makes Quinn shiver in anticipation. They're kissing as Rachel's fingers enter Quinn, causing the blond to gasp slightly before her hands pull Rachel closer, wanting as much contact as possible, skin on skin. Feeling Rachel without and within, experiencing something so divine.

The encounter always leaving Quinn feeling fully sated but nevertheless it still feels like the first time to Quinn, how her body reacts to Rachel's soft touches and her talented fingers. She just can't get enough of Rachel Berry, her voice, her smile, everything about her that makes her unique and amazing.

She feels like she's weightless all of a sudden before feeling like she's falling, only it's exhilarating because she **'** s sheltered by Rachel, protected, loved. It's an all consuming sensation that she will never tire of. She does not lose herself though because Rachel is there to anchor her. The pleasure she feels magnified by love and the emotional link she feels to Rachel.

They're so lost with each other that they don't hear the creak of the front steps of the trailer. The box placed by the door not to be discovered until much later. It's contents to be fretted upon only after Quinn flew back to New York.

**End Part 1**


	2. Crush

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Vanilla skies (vanilla skies)**_

_**White picket fences in your eyes**_

_**A vision of you and me**_

_**It's just a little crush (crush)**_

_**Jennifer Paige**_

Quinn goes over her schedule in her head. Three surgeries and two new consults, all of which can be postponed but she also had volunteered to scrub in for a surgery on a two year old who needed facial reconstruction as she had been in a horrific car accident. It was a case that hit close to home when she found out that the toddler's father had perished in the same crash that disfigured her. Quinn had immediately volunteered to assist and the surgery was scheduled for tomorrow. She does a quick calculation in her head and knows she'll still make it if she takes the later flight but only just. However, Rachel meant the world to her.

"I can stay." Quinn knows that she will have to push her wife here because Rachel was stubborn and would never ask her to stay. "I'll call Alex." She takes out her phone only to have Rachel still her hand.

"I know you can, but I'm fine. Troy and I don't have that many scenes to shoot together. Josh says that he wants to do all the choir scenes this week anyway." She reaches out, her fingers touching Quinn's face, tracing her cheekbones and marveling at how beautiful her wife truly is.

"Fine but Marcie's flying in, in a few hours and she's not afraid to use her right hook." Quinn had called Marcie, explaining Troy's behavior earlier that morning. She really hated Rachel's former boyfriend but Marcie's hatred was even more intense and Quinn knew that she was at least leaving Rachel in good hands. She really doesn't want to go but she's also cognizant that Rachel wouldn't want her to stay just to ease her own mind.

"I promise to call if he tries to be more of an ass than normal." She smiles at Quinn, tugging at the blond's hand. "Although it is difficult to tell considering he is a world class ass already. Besides, he knows that we're married and disgustingly happy and you wield a scalpel for a living and have no qualms in showing him in great detail the physical demonstration of the term, castrato."

Quinn laughs out loud, at least happy to see Rachel joke about the situation. Although, she did threaten Troy the first day she got on set. His smug face and her knowledge of how he had treated Rachel when they were dating had already made her hate him on sight. But it was his comment about Rachel settling, that made her see cheerio red.

Sue Sylvester had taught her well and Quinn never forgot any of the lessons such that when she stood toe to toe with Troy, her soft voice telling him exactly what she could and would do to him if he ever disrespected Rachel, she could see the fear forming in his grey eyes.

She never raised her voice or even touched him but she could tell that he understood that she had been absolutely serious with her words. He had not given any problems except for the stunt he pulled yesterday but Rachel did tell her that he had tried to be friendly and she had been the one distracted and had ignored him.

"You're going to be late for your flight." Her voice is wistful as she sits in Quinn's lap. "I'll see you in six days." She kisses Quinn sealing the promise.

They're holding hands as they exit the trailer and Rachel spots the blue box tied with a red bow, on the stairs. "You shouldn't have." She teases as she grabs it and places it in the trailer before locking the door.

"I didn't although now I think I should get you something considering I seem to have competition." Quinn leans into Rachel, her arm around her waist as they walk to her rented car. "I miss you already." She murmurs into Rachel's hair, inhaling the sweet scent of Jasmine and lime.

"So hurry up and leave so you can get back here sooner." Rachel jokes because she does not want to show how sad she really is to see Quinn leave. She wants to be selfish and make her stay, watching her film all her scenes and making love to her in the trailer during breaks. However, she knows that Quinn's already done so much for her and she will not make her feel guilty by looking sad.

"I love you and I love the fact that you're this bad ass doctor saving lives and who can threaten grown men and almost make them cry." She does not let go of Quinn, just happy to still have the physical connection even though they've been standing beside the car for a few minutes.

"Almost? Rach, he was tearing." Quinn can discern what Rachel is doing, why she's smiling and joking and it makes her heart swell. "I'll see you soon and call you when I land." They're skyping every night, when Rachel's not filming or Quinn doesn't have an emergency late night surgery, Quinn only able to go to sleep to Rachel's soft voice and Rachel only when Quinn wishes her good night.

#$#$#$#

Rachel wipes her eyes as she enters the trailer, not able to stop her flow of tears when Quinn finally drove off and turned at the end of the lot. She's sure that Quinn hadn't seen them because she would have stopped otherwise and for that she's slightly glad.

The blue box is still in her trailer and she carries it to the table at the side and pulls at the bow. There's no card and she's curious as to what it is and who had left it. The first day she got on set, Josh Taylor, her director had a huge bouquet of flowers delivered and the studio had stocked her trailer will all vegan products and food.

She thinks its another present only to gasp in surprise when she opens the lid to see charred papers and photos in the box. There's a note on top, words slashed across the paper,  _'You belong with me, not her'_.

Rachel slowly picks up the burnt pictures of her and Quinn, where it's Quinn's body that burnt off and her face obscured with cigarette burns. She flips through the pictures, noting that most of them are from New York but the last two were taken in LA, during Quinn's last trip because she recognized the hat Quinn was wearing. The papers are magazine articles with Quinn's name blacked out and Rachel's circled with hearts. She shivers at their connotation, knowing that someone, somewhere had taken pictures of her and Quinn in New York and now in LA.

She had some experience with overzealous fans but this was something new and scary. Her first instinct is to call Quinn knowing that her wife would still be driving to the airport and could turn around and drive back relatively quickly. Only, she knows about the surgery Quinn is rushing back for.

They had talked about it last week. Rachel had noticed Quinn's puffy eyes and had called her on it demanding to know why she had been crying. And it had taken her own look of utter concern to finally get Quinn to open up and tell her about her young patient and the surgery that was scheduled. Quinn was meticulous in her preparation and Rachel knew she would want to do her best to ensure that the young girl got her life back.

With that information in mind, Rachel knew here was no way she would make the call to Quinn and get her to come back. She still shivered at the thought that even with security on the lot, someone had managed to sneak in and came right outside her trailer. Quinn had been with her and she didn't like to think that both of their safety had been compromised.

She goes to lock the door, her phone already in her hand, only to be startled by a loud knock. She almost drops the phone as she steps back.

"Rachel." Troy had seen Quinn drive off and he knows that he'll at least have a chance to confront Rachel without any meddling from the very scary blond. "I know you're in there and I just want to talk." He ensures that he does not sound exasperated although the wait for Quinn to leave had set his teeth on edge. He didn't like her but she was in Rachel's life and if he wanted Rachel to cooperate and help him then he had to at least pretend that he was ok with everything.

The humiliation of Rachel actually coming out after having dated him hadn't helped his career and he still cannot understand her choices but she had been raised unconventionally and he was being generous in saying that. She could be so much more if she had stayed with him but it was her lost and right now all he needs is for her to not screw up with the movie and his own career would be made.

"C'mon Rach. We used to be close." He smiles when he sees the door open but is taken aback at the fear he sees on her face. "What's wrong?" He bounds up the steps of the trailer, pushing open the door and towering over her only to see her step back instinctively.

"I…" She looks around, uncomfortable in his presence and mildly surprised that she never noticed how tall he was, kind of like Finn but without the innocence that made Finn's size benign.

Rachel takes a deep breath as she walks around Troy, maintaining some form of distance. "Have you been here all day?" She sees confusion on his face at her question and she knows that even if he was the one to leave the package, he wasn't dumb enough to admit it but the confusion on his face seemed authentic.

"No, I just drove up." He wasn't about to tell her that he had been watching the trailer, waiting for Quinn to leave. ""I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee before your next scene. You know, catch up on what's going on in our lives." He sees her nod at his words but her expression is still slightly stricken. "Maybe tell me what's bothering you." His voice goes soft as his hand slowly traces the side of her face.

He's always thought she was unconventionally beautiful, stunning even and his crush on her was real. She ducks her head, moving away from his touch and it rankles that she seems immune to him and his charms. They had been close once and it had been her choice to ruin it. He had been looking out for both their futures but she never could understand his motivations.

He's not making excuses but any form of publicity was good publicity and even if she was still angry at him for those rumors which had surfaced after they broke up, it still kept her name in the papers. "I figured since we're going to have to spend the next six weeks together, we should at least get to know each other again and let me make it up to you." The smile he gives her is meant to comfort.

It's not that she thinks him incapable of telling the truth but she's been hurt by him before and the only person who can make her feel safe is Quinn. However, what he is saying is still partially true and if she wanted to get through the next six weeks, she needed to at least seem comfortable in his presence considering she had to convey that she was falling in love with him onscreen. "You're right." She smiles back at him, "Coffee sounds good. Why don't I meet you in ten minutes?"

Rachel opens the door, leaning against it, waiting for him to leave so that she can figure out what to do next. Her smile is still there and unlike her, he's always been more concern with appearances and her smile is enough for him to believe that she's agreeing to everything he's said. "Great, I'll see you in a few." He bends to lightly brush his lips on her cheek and it takes all her will power not to push him away.

Her heart is still beating faster than it should when she shuts the door because the box is in her line of sight and its contents and their implied meaning frightens her. Rachel's already worked out that she won't call Quinn as yet but Marcie was on her way to LA which at least meant company and even though she never thought she would make the call, there was one person who could possibly shed more light on the box and what it meant. She just wasn't sure if it was the best idea to make the call.

Rachel does so anyway, her fingers scrolling through the numbers stored in her phone until it stops at Santana Lopez's name and details. Their talk in Lima had been brief but surprising. It wasn't unexpected as Santana did consider Quinn one of her best friends despite the adversarial nature of most of their encounters. So she hadn't been surprised to see Santana pulling up a chair to join her in the hospital cafeteria.

Quinn had just fallen asleep and Rachel had been worried that the sound of her stomach growling would wake her up thus she quietly went to the cafeteria to quickly get something to eat. It was the first time she had really talked to Santana and they had talked about so many things but in the end, it came down to Quinn and Brittany and Rachel wanted to think that a connection had been made.

Santana still loved Brittany and although she hated to admit it, Quinn and Rachel's story resonated with her and Rachel could see that Santana needed to finally admit that what she still felt from Brittany wasn't a left over crush from high school but love, pure and simple.

She would never ever describe Santana as her friend but she had offered her help if Rachel ever needed it and knowing Santana, it wasn't just lip service. It's with that thought that she presses dial on her phone and listens to the call connecting.

"Diva." There's a slight edge to Santana's voice that Rachel puts down to curiosity and fear that something had possibly happened to Quinn. She smiles though at Santana's greeting, her first real smile since Quinn left.

"Hi, Quinn's fine but I…I need your help."

**End Part 2**


	3. What It Feels Like For A Girl

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Strong inside but you don't know it**_

_**Good little girls they never show it**_

_**When you open up your mouth to speak**_

_**Could you be a little weak**_

_**Madonna**_

Santana's surprised when she glances at the caller ID, never expecting Berry to call but knowing she will take the call because it could be about Quinn or worse. She does not hide her sigh of relief at Rachel's initial words but focuses on her continued ones because the pint sized Drama Queen sounded incredibly worried. Her own worry growing as she listens to what Rachel has to say about the box and its contents.

"Has anyone else touched it?" She hears Rachel reply in the negative. "Ok, can you remember where you touched it before and pick it up like that and place it in a plastic bag?" She's been working for the General Litigation Unit of the San Francisco District Attorney's office for all of one year and is going by instinct and what's she's picked up in that time. She has no freaking clue if more needs to be done but she hears Rachel's own sigh of relief and is at least happy she's been able to help.

It was a far cry from high school but a lot had changed including her own situation. It had been a gamble for her to leave her lucrative job doing Corporate Law in Houston but she knew that if she wanted to win Brittany back, she had to at least be in the same state, hence her move to San Francisco. It wasn't as close to LA as she would like but it was better than Houston.

"I'll make a few calls and get someone to go over and collect it and see what we can get from it." She hears Rachel thanking her, asking her to keep this quiet and it's clear that she hasn't told Quinn.

"If you don't tell Quinn, I will." It had been Rachel who told her about being honest and knowing that it was part of what made her and Quinn work. The conversation they had had in the cafeteria in Lima still fresh in her mind despite the year that had passed.

" _So I know that you love her and all but I'm still going to say it." Santana had gone through high school knowing that she didn't have to watch her back because the only one who could give her grief was Quinn and when she didn't, it was Quinn who looked out for her. "She loves you so don't screw it up and hurt her or you'll have to deal with me."_

_Rachel had the audacity to smile but at least she nodded at her words before adding some of her own, "Well, I love her too and I'll try my very best to never hurt her and to always be honest with her about everything."_

" _So that's your secret, huh? Honesty?" It had been a valid question on Santana's part because she had tried it once before and it didn't work as Brittany had stayed with she had felt hurt and alone and she hadn't been proud of her subsequent actions and how she had acted back then._

_Rachel hears the challenge in Santana's voice, "Quinn deserves the truth and so do I, so yeah, that's one of the things that makes us work." She sees Santana staring intently at her and its not difficult to figure out that the Latina is all at once jealous of her and Quinn and regretful that she had not taken the next step with Brittany. She sees so much pain in her eyes that Rachel feels sorry for Santana and knows that she needs to do something not only to lighten the mood now but to really do something to try and help Santana see that maybe it wasn't too late._

" _Well that and my innately limber body and Quinn's magic tongue." Santana's eyes had gone wide at her words and Rachel couldn't hold back her laughter in seeing that she had managed at last ,after so many years, to render the Latina speechless._

"She has an important surgery tomorrow and I'll tell her after. I won't keep anything from her but I also don't want her to worry unnecessarily and that's why I need you to help me." Rachel's used to having overzealous fans. Those that wrote letters as if they knew her personally or those that wanted to touch her or hug her because she seemed so accessible. There was no reason why this particular fan was any different.

Except that the burnt pictures had Quinn in them and while she was perfectly comfortable with being in the spotlight and had learnt how to deal with the public, Quinn had always chosen her privacy. "I just need to know if I need to take further precautions and if Quinn needs protection as well."

Santana hears the fear underlying Rachel's voice, not fear for herself but for Quinn. "You should get your manager to make a preliminary police report, just to be on the safe side and I'll see what I can do from my end." She's about to hang up when Rachel's next words stop her.

"Have you talked to Brittany yet?" She wants to hang up, to ignore the question and pretend everything was going to work out but she knows that Rachel's just going to call her back because she was relentless and because she actually cared from Brittany and was probably looking out for her.

"No." She wishes that Rachel will take note of her curt response and drop it but as always, Rachel is nothing if not pushy.

"She's just finished the choreography of a music video and she's thinking of taking a short break." Quinn had made Rachel promise not to meddle when they had discussed about Santana's move to San Francisco. Brittany had opened a dance school in LA about 5 years back but only recently started making a name for herself as a choreographer and Tony and Tina had been helping her along with Rachel. "You should…"

"Don't" There is a clear warning in her tone as she cuts Rachel off. Only Rachel doesn't let her.

"This is as far from high school as we can get Santana so you don't scare me anymore. Anyway, if you want to be with her than you have to do it at a closer distance than San Francisco. Quinn's flying back next Friday and I've finally rented a place here so we're cooking for Brittany. I'll text you the address." Rachel hangs up because she doesn't want Santana to have the chance to make an excuse and despite her words, she's still a bit wary of the ex cheerio and she was still probably a little scared of her but only when Quinn wasn't there.

She quickly follows Santana's advice with respect to the box, gingerly holding onto its side where she had first touched it and putting it in a plastic bag, ready for collection. She knows Troy is probably impatiently waiting for her so she forgoes changing and rushes out to have a quick cup of coffee, hoping that no other surprises would greet her when she returned.

#$#$#$

Quinn feels utterly exhausted but happy nonetheless. The skin grafts she had done for the little Taylor went off without a hitch and with some luck, prayer and constant monitoring for infection, it looked like she was going to be alright at least physically.

She was only two but had already lost her dad in the accident and still had a long road of recovery ahead of her. Quinn had wanted to talk to the girl's mother but she had yet to be found having abandoned her family, a few years back.

All in all, it had been a good surgery but Quinn still felt like she needed to do more because that's how she worked. There was a constant need to do better, to make a difference, to make up for being such a bitch when she was younger and more stupid. Her before Rachel phase needed a lot of making up for and even now, having Rachel in her life gave her so much to be thankful for that she will always feel like doing more.

Quinn at least ensures that her young patient is as comfortable as possible in her room and knows she'll be in as early as she can to check on Taylor, ensuring that she doesn't wake up alone. She does not question the fact that she feels a strong need to be there as she runs her hand through Taylor's brown hair, knowing that if the little girl woke up, she would be starring at beautiful brown eyes.

It's not her slight resemblance to Rachel but more her fighting spirit that makes her seem like a tiny facsimile of Rachel Berry and it does affect Quinn because any thought of Rachel hurt makes her own heart ache and likewise, seeing Taylor hurting was also affecting her.

She wants to go home, have a bath and call Rachel, probably doing the later two at the same time, knowing that it would make it seem like Rachel was with her, at home even if she was in fact thousands of miles away in LA.

Quinn bends down and kisses the crown of Taylor's head before whispering goodnight and sweet dreams, leaving strict instructions with the night nurse to call her if anything changed with Taylor's condition. She makes her way home, to their brownstone in Riverside Park. It had been an easy decision to sell her apartment and move in with Rachel but her wife had surprised her when she brought Quinn to the brownstone at the Upper West side.

It needed work converting both duplexes into a home for them but it was a project that they could do together and Rachel had been so excited it was difficult to say no even though she wasn't sure that she could afford it. As a surgeon, she was making good money but nowhere in the league of Rachel but she insisted paying for half of the house.

As she drives back, singing softly to one of Rachel's songs playing on her stereo, she wonders what Rachel is doing right now. She misses her wife terribly, not only her voice but her touch and just the fact that seeing her always made her feel that all was right in her world and her life was complete.

Pictures and recordings would never do Rachel Berry justice and the yearning that Quinn feels is almost too hard to bear, only receding when she concentrated on her work and patients, needing her full attention during surgery. However, in the intervening minutes or seconds she wasn't thinking about work, her mind would inevitably flit to Rachel, like right now as she eases her car into the lot at the front of their house and takes out her keys.

Her ringing phone sending her heart thudding because she's almost sure it's Rachel as she fumbles to answer it, without looking at the caller ID. "Hey.", the silence on the other end puzzling her as she struggles to hear and hopes that it's not a bad connection.

She looks at the ID and sees the LA area code but not from any of Rachel's numbers. "Rach? Is everything ok? Rachel?"

"You don't belong with her. You keep away." The words are electronically rendered but the message sends a chill through Quinn.

"Who is this?" Her voice is harsh and cold but her hands are shaking and all she finally hears is a dial tone. The call completely unsettling her calm façade as she dials Rachel's phone. It rings a few time before being answered by Marcie.

Quinn knew she had to control her emotions and reign in the fear she was feeling. It could have been a stupid prank call meant for someone else or something relatively harmless and she had no real proof that it was a message to her about Rachel.

"Hi, Is Rachel fine?" She forgoes the niceties and gets straight to the point, finally sagging against her car when Marcie answers in the affirmative and tells her that they're shooting one of the choir scenes and she can faintly hear Rachel singing in the background.

"Why did you think she wouldn't be fine?" Marcie knows about the box but was sure that Rachel hadn't told Quinn. Only she knows how close they are and how they seem to just intrinsically understand each other.

"I got a call just now." She trust Marcie and knows that as Rachel's manager, she always had Rachel's best interest at heart. More importantly as someone who also loved Rachel, she would do her utmost to protect the tiny brunette when Quinn couldn't be there. "Some nameless voice telling me that I don't belong with Rachel, that I need to stay away."

As she says it, she realizes how on edge she sounds and feels even though it was just a call that didn't even mention Rachel's name. "I guess I am over-reacting but.." For that one split second, she had been paralyzed with fear for Rachel.

"I'll be with her as much as I can and I've already given Troy the evil eye and made it common knowledge that he was persona non grata with us." Marcie knows Rachel wants to tell Quinn about the box and with this new development, it would seem that the police report she was about to make was definitely a good thing. She also does not tell Quinn that Troy had been hanging around Rachel most of the day and only backed off when Marcie had spilt her hot cup of coffee very near to parts of him that he most certainly wanted to protect.

"Thanks, I just..She means everything to me." She didn't have to say it because it shone through in everything she did. "Tell her I'll call her later." Quinn needed time to decide how to address the prank call and how much she wanted to tell Rachel. She wasn't going to hide it because she's learnt enough lessons about how much Rachel valued honesty. However, she also wasn't just going to just do nothing because as always, she needed to do more.

She's not sure if Santana was still at work but she called her number anyway, hoping that her old friend would be able to return the favor and give her some direction now.

**End Part 3**


	4. Stronger

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Stronger than yesterday**_

_**Now it's nothing but my way**_

_**My loneliness ain't killing me no more**_

_**I'm stronger**_

_**Britney Spears**_

Santana can't say that she has not been expecting the call and she takes a breath before answering it, as Quinn Fabray was always a force to be reckoned with especially when she felt the need to make a point. She can clearly recall running endless suicide drills at Cheerios practice because Quinn felt that they had to be better or doing a ruoine so many times that she would forget the number.

She knows how much Quinn loved Rachel and because of it, she does not keep her waiting as she finally picks up the phone.

"I'm already on it Fabray." ,"San, I need your help." Their voices overlap, Santana wanting to placate Quinn while Quinn's worried tone putting her on edge because it is quite unexpected.

"What..what are you already on?" And there's the edge she's been expecting although by now she's pretty sure that Quinn doesn't know about Rachel's little present.

"Santana." The warning tone brooks no argument as it brings forth the cold fury that Quinn has always kept hidden just beneath her calm exterior, unleashing it only when she was pushed too far or when she was scared beyond belief, both of which were possible scenarios right now and Santana only has a few seconds to pick the right one.

"You're scared about Rachel, I get it. So just tell me what you want my help on and I'll tell you what I'm working on." She has her own tone that she's cultivated from high school, confidence with a not giving a damn bite. She's used it most of her life and knows Quinn is familiar with it too. Surprisingly it works as she hears Quinn breathe out.

"Ten minutes ago, I got a call from a number in LA. The voice was digitized and it said  _'You don't belong with her'_ , that I had to stay away and then the person hung up." Santana can hear the fear bleeding through Quinn's voice, not quite reaching the panicked stage as yet but definitely close to and at this point, she's not sure if she should tell her about the box.

"Ok, Q. First you have to promise me that you're going to listen to everything I have to say and what I think we will have to do." She can picture Quinn's raised eyebrow and continues before the blond can object. "I mean it, Q. No interruptions and no hanging up the phone and running off. This is for Rachel." Quinn's intake of breath indicating that she knows this is serious.

"Ok." It's never been easy for Quinn to relinquish control of any situation but Santana knew by invoking Rachel's name, it would do the trick or at least she hoped it would.

"She received a box yesterday. It was filled with half burnt pictures of the both of you and a note similar to the message you just got." She can hear a door slam in the background and Quinn's heavy footsteps. "Q, stop."

"Fuck you, San. There's no way I'm not taking the first flight out and.." The bag from the last trip still unpacked in their room and she grabs it and turns to leave.

"I'm not saying you shouldn't be there, I'm saying don't underestimate her strength and you seem to be as much a target as she is so stop being a bitch and let me finish." Santana's standing up and screaming into the phone, drawing attention from the rest of her office but she doesn't give a damn as she pinches the bridge of her nose before sitting back down after glaring at her other two colleagues daring them to say anything about her outburst.

Taking Quinn's continued silence as consent, she tells her about the box and how they're waiting for analysis from the crime lab in LA. "I called in every favor I had and owe them big time but they're going to find out as much as possible and Rachel's manager should have made a police report by now.."

"Marcie knows?" It's not jealousy that consumes her but the feeling that she's just not enough for Rachel. Not that her wife would ever say that but it's a relic feeling from her youth, of knowing no matter how good she is or how much she tries, sometimes, she's just not good enough. It's a feeling that she has not felt in a long time but right now, it all comes flooding back.

"She put off telling you until after your surgery which I guess you just finished. Don't be a friggin idiot and underestimate her." There's a beep on the call and Quinn instinctively knows that it's Rachel.

"I don't know what to do." It's a difficult confession to make for Quinn. HEr voice going soft because she really is paralyzed with fear.

"Text me the number that called you and I'll see what else I can dig up. In the meantime, if that's her, tell her that I'm expecting real meat and none of that vegan crap for dinner next week." She hangs up before Quinn can say anything else. Her quota of playing nice all used up but it felt good to reestablish her ties from high school, knowing that they had seen her at her worst but still trusted her enough to ask for her help. Now all she needed to do was to screw up her courage and finally go and make it up to Brittany, put her heart on the line again and hope that timing was finally perfect.

After High School, she had been hurt that Brittany had chosen to follow Artie to OSU and vowed to never set foot in Lima after her acceptance to Georgetown. The one thing that she had ensured was that they still kept in touch, letters and a call every now and then but the unwritten rule was that they talked about anything except for how they felt for each other.

In the beginning, Brittany would try and bring what she was feeling up but Santana would just ignore it or change the subject. More than once, she'd hung up thinking that it would be the last time that they would talk. But Brit would always write back or call a month later and she would act like nothing had happened in between even though the time had seem endless and all she could do was pray and try and forget.

So many years of pretending she didn't care and that their tentative link was enough even if she felt completely alone. She had tried so many remedies in between, drinking and throwing herself into her work. She had even been engaged to a lawyer at her law firm in Houston. He had pursued her relentlessly, all blond and blue eyed and each time she went back to his place, she would switch off all the lights and pretend.

She was smart to know that it wouldn't last so she finally broke it off the week before the wedding. Her excuse had been she wanted to concentrate on her career but deep down, Santana knew that she just didn't love him the way he loved her and even if she were selfish, she couldn't mistake the sadness in Brit's voice when she told her of her impending marriage. Still, they never talked about their feelings for each other and she was sick of feeling lonely and knowing that Brittany was just as lonely too.

She had quit her job the next day and moved to San Francisco six weeks later but didn't do much more than that and maybe Rachel was right and it was time to start.

She hates being so introspective and picks up her phone to call her contact at the LA police department to see if they managed to get any leads on Rachel's potential stalker while she checked her case diary to see what time she could catch a flight on Friday to LA.

#$#$#$#$

"I miss you." Quinn hears Rachel's clear voice over the line and knows that at this moment, they're both fine but she still feels like everything is just one tiny step away from falling apart.

"Tell me about the box." She tries to stop the blunt edge to her words but does not succeed when she hears Rachel's sigh and remembers Santana's words. "I miss you too."

Rachel can't begin to describe how Quinn makes her feel, not only her presence but just knowing that she's in her life, that they're married and forever tied and no matter what, just hearing her voice would allow her to feel that everything would work itself out no matter what.

"I was going to tell you." There's no guilt in her voice, just understanding and realization that Quinn would always want to look out for her. "It came just after you left and I wanted to call you but.."

Quinn closes her eyes as she sits cross legged on their bed. She had told Rachel about Taylor, about the surgery she had scheduled and how she didn't want the little girl to be alone. "But you knew I wanted to be there for Taylor." Rachel had tears in her eyes when Quinn had finished and that determined look in her eye which Quinn never questioned.

"Yeah. So I called Santana instead and Marcie and I are going to make a police report just in case. I was going to tell you." Her voice goes soft as she grips the phone, picturing Quinn looking at her. "I've dealt with overzealous fans before."

"I know." Quinn had firsthand knowledge of how open Rachel was with fans that approached them, letting them take pictures and ask personal questions that she would deflect like the professional she was. Once in a while someone would want a hug and not let go but Rachel would always extricate herself eventually and send them on their way happier to have met her.

Quinn would always marvel at how good she was in dealing with her fans while still ensuring that Quinn's own sense of privacy was always maintained.

"It could very well be nothing other than some childish prank." There's hope in Rachel's voice and Quinn does not want to banish it only she knows that she owes Rachel the truth.

"I got a prank call as well." She tells her of the call and how she had hoped it had been Rachel only to receive the ominous message. She hates to hear Rachel's hitch in her breath and tell her about her call with Santana just to allay her fears. Their connection so obvious despite their physical separation as Rachel finishes Quinn's thought and Quinn highlights Rachel's current dilemma.

"I can take the next flight out." Her offer a standing one because nothing is more important than Rachel.

"I know but until we know for sure, let's just wait. How was Taylor's surgery?" She wants Quinn's arms around her always but she also cannot deny Quinn's talent as a doctor and take her away from her patients unnecessarily.

"It was good. She's so tiny but she has this great fighting spirit, you know. Kind of reminds me of you." She hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"I'd like to meet her." She has a short break in filming coming up and was planning on taking Quinn diving in Mexico but maybe just going back to New York was better. She hopes Quinn liked the surprised she had in store for Taylor and to be honest, it was for Quinn as well.

Quinn smiles picturing Rachel with Taylor and she knows she shouldn't even be considering the possibilities but they're been bordering her subconscious ever since she met the little girl. "Yeah, I think you should." This time, it's her turn to sound a bit tentative.

It's always been an art to read Quinn. In high school, her aloofness and cold stare would always send out a message to everyone, to not mess with her. What Rachel noticed was that in her quieter moments, her eyes and voice would give away her feelings. However, it was only when Quinn became her doctor did she manage to finally understand her.

Every nuanced word and sideways look would speak volumes to her. So Quinn's tentative reply told her so much but it was just not the time to address it because any discussion about their future had to be done face to face. "Does she sing?" She expects Quinn's laugh although it's still great to hear it.

"I'm not sure but I'm definitely sure that you'll manage to teach her." It feels good to laugh and hear Rachel's accompanying giggles over the phone. "So, how do you feel about body guards?" The unexpected segue in conversation stopping Rachel's laugh and she's unsure if it's said in jest although knowing Quinn and how she thinks, it was a serious question.

She loved being famous but was content with the sort of fame that got her recognized seven times out of ten on the streets of New York. She hadn't as yet attained the stardom that required body guards and secret traveling schedules and she didn't want that especially with Quinn in her life.

But her current situation did involve Quinn because she was the one to receive a call on her private number. "How do you feel about them?" Her voice gets serious with the question. "You got the call." She shivers as she feels goose bumps appear on her arms when she thinks of Quinn in any form of danger.

"Let's see what Santana says and what the police tell you after you make the report." It's not that she hates being in the public eye, knowing how much Rachel loves performing but more not wanting to share Rachel because she was selfish that way. This new development was something she never really considered. Living in New York still afforded them some sort of anonymity even with paparazzi following them every now and then, it wasn't a constant thing.

There was more scrutiny when their relationship had first surfaced from all angles, people wanting to use them as paragons of the LGTB cause or condemn them for being bad role models. She hated the way stories would be written about them or how Rachel would be portrayed, wanting to fight back and get them to recant, only Rachel had been exceptional, taking it all in stride and handling the press and the various factions with such aplomb that eventually other stories became more interesting and ultimately they became like any other famous couple in New York, a few mentions in the paper every now and then but not much else to interfere with their daily lives, at least until now.

She hears her pager go off and looks at the code, her heart rate picking up as she sees that it's regarding Taylor. "Rachel.." She does not want to hang up on Rachel right now and almost sighs in relief when she hears Rachel's strong voice come over the line.

"You have to go save some lives and please just be careful." Rachel had always been amazed as to how good a doctor Quinn was. How much she invested of herself in the recovery of her patients and how she always pushed herself to be better. So even though, she wants to tell Quinn to fly across the country to be with her, Rachel bites her lip and goes with a platitude instead but she does instill her words with as much love as she can.

"You too and I love you." Quinn doesn't need Rachel to say the words but she will always take the opportunity to because life was too short and telling Rachel she loved her was only second to showing Rachel.

**End Part 4**


	5. Tell Me Something Good

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**You ain't got no kind of feeling inside**_

_**I got something that will sure 'nuff set your stuff on fire**_

_**You refuse to put anything before your pride**_

_**I got something**_

_**that will knock all your pride aside**_

_**Tell me something good**_

_**Tell me, tell me, tell me**_

**Rufus & Chaka Khan**

The near preternatural ability to compartmentalize her emotions was one of the few things Quinn ever found thankful for in being a Fabray. Her father had been an ace at it although her mom needed extra help in the form of alcohol. But for Quinn, being able to separate all her feelings, keeping them apart and at bay thus being able to concentrate on the most pressing issue had been incredibly helpful all through high school especially in putting up with Sue Sylvester's constant need to belittle and badger all her cheerios while putting them though strenuous physical routines at the same time.

During med school and all through her internship, it had been a godsend really. She could push down on the guilt and sadness and concentrate of learning to be better, on not making the same mistakes again and being the best doctor she could be. Not having to deal with her feelings meant she could make decisions logically, chose the right dose of medication or the best possible form of treatment.

She always felt that it made her a good doctor and it allowed her to make up for all her past mistakes. Except it all fell apart when she met Rachel again, her emotions had been the first thing to betray her, coloring her decisions and making her feel every single thing she had been avoiding for so long. In hindsight, none of it had been at all bad but it took some getting used to.

And once it occurred, Quinn couldn't go back, she couldn't just stop feeling and like Alex had highlighted to her repeatedly, she had finally become a great doctor. Only she had accomplished it because she had Rachel with her. Rachel who would allude to her sixth sense being at work each time she managed to find Quinn hiding because she had been affected by a case or a patient. Rachel who took it upon herself to ensure that she was always there for her in some way, even when she was thousands of miles away.

Like sending over so many flowers, balloons and stuff animals for Taylor's room because Quinn had told her that the little girl didn't have anyone and she was afraid of her waking up alone. Quinn had been surprised to see the state of the room only to have Julie explain that Rachel had called yesterday to ask her to arrange for their delivery.

And Quinn was glad she did because Taylor had woken up and was in some distress but the Paeds resident on duty could not give her any more pain killers because she was so small. And the only thing that made any difference was the flowers and stuffed toys that Rachel had sent. All of it distracted her for some time, only she was probably scared and her constant squirming around wasn't helping her pain management, which was when the nurse had finally called Quinn.

She arrived to a room she barely recognized but it was the little girl that took up all her attention. Quinn hated that there was little she could do. The cap, mask and gown covering her up and not allowing her to touch Taylor. In the end though, she remembered what Rachel had done for her and she ignores the looks of surprise on the resident's face as she starts to sing softly to Taylor.

The little girl's wide brown eyes fixed on Quinn's as she finally relaxes, whimpering slightly at the pain she was feeling but at least not twisting her body and making it worse. Quinn sings until the little girl falls asleep and only stops when the nurse brings her a cup of coffee over two hours later.

Being with Rachel paying off even more considering she didn't think she knew that many songs that could be suitable for a two year old but most of the Broadway ones Rachel had made her listen to kind of stuck in her head along with most of Rachel's oeuvre.

Quinn knows that she has to face the reality that she wants to do more for Taylor, not only as a doctor but as a caretaker. It's something that she had never discussed with Rachel even though her wife had broached the subject a few times.

Quinn would stare at her when she would touch on the subject always so delicately, each time Rachel would bite her lower lip between her teeth and look away not wanting to meet Quinn's stare because it was the one thing that she knew Quinn wouldn't commit on, at least not yet and in Rachel's mind, maybe not ever.

It wasn't as if she didn't want a miniature Rachel Berry running around but she was still coming to terms with Beth and even if she had finally mended the rift with her parents, she really wasn't at all confident that she would make a good mom.

She knows Rachel's dads had shown their daughter what it meant to have a home and to be loved unconditionally but she couldn't say she had the same privilege with Judy and Russell. It had always been conditional with them and even now, she pushes herself because she will always, deep down, feel that she's never going to be good enough.

And Rachel was the only person who got it, she couldn't empathize but she understood and would tell Quinn every chance she got how much she loved her and how she was perfectly imperfect, and how Rachel herself was imperfectly perfect and they just fit.

Quinn knew Rachel wanted children. She would look longingly at the little kids playing at the park when they went for walks together. And on the few occasions she had looked askance at Quinn, her hand unconsciously touching her stomach, the ultimatum seemingly on the tip of her tongue. But Quinn knew that she would look back, frightened, praying that Rachel didn't say anything because she didn't want to say no.

And for a few seconds, there would be this silence between them, all the noise surrounding them falling away as Rachel would grapple with her need and Quinn would hold her breath and then Rachel would smile and hold out her hand for Quinn to take, the longing feeling overtaken again by her love of Quinn.

Except maybe, all Quinn had been looking for wasn't an excuse to say no but a reason to say yes. Taylor needed someone to look after her, to love her and to be a family for her. Rachel and her were a stable married couple, slightly unconventional not because they were gay but due to their time consuming careers and the fact that they didn't have any experience raising a child. However, they could be a family, she could picture it in her mind, Rachel's infectious laugh as she taught Taylor one of her favorite songs.

Swinging Taylor between them as they walked through Tisch's Zoo and reading Goodnight Moon to Taylor as Rachel hummed in the background looking at them with so much love. It was scary how real all of it seemed in her head and how much the thought of all of it didn't scare her at all. How if she just let herself feel it, it would feel so real and all she needed to do was to finally tell Rachel something good.

#$#$#$#

Marcie had been amazing in arranging for the police detectives to go over to Rachel's rented house instead of them having to go into the station to make the report. Sometimes being famous had its perks but it was not something she wanted to take advantage of. In this instance, though, she just felt safer not being out in the open, not knowing if she needed to avoid her fans or people in general.

She didn't know what to expect when she opened the door to Detectives Martin and Sullivan but they had kind faces and put her immediately at ease even as they made her recall finding the box and talking about its contents.

They had been quite open with her as well, telling her that they didn't have much to go on but that she was following proper procedure in making a report which would allow them to act faster should anything else occur. She shivered at the thought that other things could occur.

"Like what?" Rachel sees the detectives give each other a look, a silent conversation borne of years of working together and all at once she misses Quinn. Knowing that she's being selfish in wanting her there but wishing it were true regardless because she needed to feel safe and Quinn made her feel safe.

Detective Sondra Martin clears her throat, not stalling but not wanting to frighten Rachel who was already looking at her so wide eyed that she was looking like Bambi in the cartoon her daughter watched religiously. "If the person escalates from just sending messages to something more physical." She looks at her partner, Ike, hoping for him to step in when she sees Rachel blanch at her words.

He was always better dealing with emotions than she was and nearly sighs in relief when she hears his deep voice, "In most of the cases, the perpetrator doesn't do anything more than send messages. However, we would advocate taking precautions. Like arming your security system and at any time you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, go with your instincts." He sees Rachel nod at his words.

"But in those cases where they have done more? Did their victims just wait around for it to happen?" It's Marcie who asks the question, anger coloring her voice. She wasn't going to just wait for something to happen or pray that nothing did. She knew she was being unfair to the officers but Quinn had asked her to look out for Rachel and right now she was doing a piss poor job of it.

"Most location shoots have security of their own. I would advise that Ms Berry inform the studio that there might be an overzealous fan out there and that they should increase the private security. Most people, they see guards, they tend to do less stupid things." Marcie nods at the suggestion, already knowing who to call and scream at.

"Thank you but what about my wife?" All she can think about is Quinn and how she didn't work in a place that had as many security guards as the studio lot. "Tell me what I need to do for my wife, she's a doctor, a surgeon in New York." She's always been proud of Quinn and it shines through in her voice but so does the fear she feels for her safety.

It's Detective Martin who answers her question, in her calm voice "You said she also received a call from an LA area code?" Only what she ends up saying almost shatters Rachel even as she nods. "Then maybe she's safer in New York."

Rachel sees the logic so clearly even if she knows Quinn won't. She can already hear the argument in her head, how Quinn would take a deep breath before launching into all the reasons why she needed to fly back to LA only Rachel knows she has the one reason why she can't let Quinn do that.

It was safer for her not to be there and that's all the reason Rachel needs. Only she's not sure how she'll convince Quinn to stay in New York. She's on autopilot now as she signs all the papers the detectives put in front of her and it's Marcie who shows them out. All she can think of is how to get Quinn not to fly back.

She knows she's tired and not thinking straight when all she can come up with is getting the studio to ban Quinn from the set. Troy would support the idea and he wasn't the sharpest person around so making him think it was his idea was not going to be too difficult to achieve. It's unoriginal and not what she wants to do and she hopes that by sleeping on it will give her more clarity and a better plan.

#$#$#$#$

Until she met Quinn, Rachel never expected calls in the middle of the night. It wasn't that she didn't have an active social life because she did and had never been home to take many calls. Beside none really came as she liked her privacy and her numbers had always been unlisted, given out to a handful of people and even then, only family and close personal friends.

When she had first stayed over at Quinn's , her pager going off had startled Rachel such that she nearly rolled off the bed only to be saved at the last second by Quinn's quick reflexes. From then on, it had been something she had to get used to, her pager going off or Quinn's service calling to inform her of an emergency surgery or case.

So Rachel does not think twice as she's awaken from sleep by the ringing phone. It doesn't register that Quinn's not next to her and that she's not at home so she reaches to pick it up. "Uhllo." Her voice still thick with sleep as she blinks open her eyes searching for her wife only to hear the electronic voice on the line.

" _You belong with me, not her. Tell her to stay away or else."_

She pulls the phone out of the socket and drops it on the ground before scrambling backwards on the bed, wide awake, adrenaline coursing through her and all she can think of is calling Quinn except she can't. Rachel's always prided herself in being independent, not depending on any one to carry her load even if she knows Quinn would gladly do so.

It wasn't pride stopping her from calling Quinn but fear, pure unadulterated fear that whomever called Quinn and who had called just now wanted her wife to stay away and the unfinished threat she heard on the phone was enough impetus for Rachel to think that perhaps it was necessary to get Quinn banned from the set.

**End Part 5**


	6. Halo

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**It's like I've been awakened**_

_**Every rule I had you breaking**_

_**It's the risk that I'm taking**_

_**Beyonce**_

Marcie finds her still sitting on the bed the next morning, the phone pulled from the wall and a glazed and frightened expression on her face. "What happened?" her tone full of worry as she waves one hand in front of Rachel, gently pulling her forward. "Did someone call? Rachel, did you get a call?"

Marcie's always been a light sleeper, which is why Rachel never gave her a room with a phone. Except with everything that was going on, she should have insisted on it and feeling regretful right now wasn't helping Rachel but she really did feel like she had screwed up the one thing Quinn had asked of her. She promised Quinn to look out for Rachel and she hadn't. She hugs Rachel, finally feeling her relax.

Rachel knows that it's not the fact that she's unused to feeling fear. She had been terrified all throughout her cancer scare and even more terrified when Quinn had been in her coma. This new type of fear though was different from before. Then, she always had a damn good idea what she was up against and she had Quinn with her.

Even when Quinn had been in a coma, Rachel had been able to touch her, hold her hand and see the rise and fall of her chest. This time though she can't have Quinn there, not if she wanted her safe and there was nothing more important than Quinn's safety. "Yeah…" She swallows her fear, thick in her throat. "I got a call and the message was clear." Rachel looks at Marcie's eyes widen at her next words. "We need to get Quinn banned from the set."

"What?, Rach, what did the caller say?" Marcie can distinguish all of Rachel's different moods, her voice and mannerisms giving her away even when she was trying to suppress what she was feeling. It's a skill gleaned over time, practiced until perfected and right now she knows that Rachel has her mind set on banning her wife from the studio.

It's not an experience she wants to repeat but she knows that they'll need to make another report and she'll have to call Santana hoping that maybe she'd found something from the box delivered. But Rachel knows she's just stalling for as long as possible before making the one call she completely dreads. Not because she doesn't want to hear Quinn's voice because that is really all she wants to hear.

She does not want to call Quinn because doing that would make everything that had occurred seem more real and telling Quinn that she couldn't come to LA would mean not seeing her but worse, not touching her or to feel her touch.

"He…She..I don't know whether it was a man or woman but the message was that Quinn and I don't belong together and she had to stay away or else." Rachel's voices hitches on the threat. A playground taunt made real because she has an active imagination and to her or else could mean so many things, none of them good and there was no way she would gamble with Quinn's safety. "She has to stay away." Rachel repeats the words as she stares at Marcie, willing her to understand the implications and what needed to be done.

"She's not going to like it" Marcie sees Rachel's eyes set as her jaw clenches. It's a look she probably learnt from Quinn or they learnt it from each other. It was amazing how stubborn they were when it came to protecting each other; so intransigent when it came down to looking out for the other, with no exceptions. So she knows that she will do what Rachel wants but needs her to realize it wasn't going to stop her wife.

"I'll call the studio, maybe make it sound like Troy's the one giving grief." She sees Rachel's small smile at that and at least they're still on the same wavelength. "But Quinn's still going to want to be here for you and you're not on the set 24/7."

That was true and Rachel was still unsure as to how to just get Quinn to stay in New York. Even when they fought, Quinn always came home, sometimes after a few drinks at a bar and once at four in the morning after spending a few hours tossing and turning on the couch in her office. It was like an unwritten rule that she'd always come back to Rachel because Rachel was home.

So fighting with Quinn wouldn't keep her away and it's the only thought in her mind when she hears her mobile ring, the music playing indicating Quinn was calling.

#$#$#$#$

Quinn had spent most of the night in Taylor's room, alternating between singing to the little girl each time she woke up and planning her next steps to start the process for her and Rachel to become Taylor's foster parents. She knows she's jumping way ahead and she needs to talk to her wife and if Rachel says yes, she would need to spend time getting all the forms filled out and ensuring that they met all the criteria that the state of New York set out.

But everything is so clear in her mind that she calls Rachel as soon as she knows she's awake, her wife's sleeping habits being one of the first thing she memorized when they first started going out. Quinn loves how big Rachel's heart is, how open she's been with Beth and knows that she would make an incredible mother. And even if she weren't sure of her own maternal instincts, Rachel would be sure enough for the both of them.

She hears the phone connect and Rachel's voice answering but even through her excitement, she can hear that something is slightly off. "Are you ok?" It's the first words out of her mouth after Rachel said hello, forgoing her traditional I miss you missive.

She distinctly notes that Rachel pauses before she answers. They've been together for four years and she's memorized as much about her wife as she can. Instinctively knowing what every nuance pause or word meant, how her expression could signify so many different things but always picking the right one and ensuring that she always had Rachel's best interest at heart. It was a tell and Rachel could never lie to her. The slight pause was a dead giveaway. Rachel was her life and despite her need to tell Rachel about Taylor and what she wants to do, she knows that she needs to ensure that her wife was ok especially since the delivery of the box a few days ago.

"What happened? Rach?"

Rachel can hear the worry in Quinn's voice and she's never lied to Quinn on purpose. She's held back saying a few things but that was just delaying the inevitable and like she had told Santana, honesty was an important cornerstone of their relationship. So even as she's contemplating lying to Quinn for the first time since they got together, she can't go through with it and sighs before she tries to placate Quinn. "I miss you." Those words most definitely not a lie.

Quinn closes her eyes as she holds on to the phone more tightly, wishing that she could somehow touch Rachel even for a second, knowing it would make all the difference to her. "I miss you too but.."

Rachel cuts her off, finally realizing what she needs to do and hating herself for doing it. "I want you here I do…but I'm going to feel guilty for taking you away from your job…from Taylor." She knows Quinn as well as Quinn knows her and all she needed to do was to think logically and realize that Quinn had called her first thing and she had probably spent the night with Taylor.

So it wasn't difficult to assume that the little girl was on her mind. Quinn always sounded invested in her patients when she talked of them. But Rachel could sense that Taylor was different for Quinn. Much like she herself was.

She's not being conceited in thinking that Quinn had invested everything she was in her treatment and maybe it was because Quinn had been slowly falling in love with her from the beginning but in the end, Quinn had almost sacrificed her own career to ensure Rachel knew that she loved her.

"Is she ok?" Rachel hears Quinn let out a long breath and knows she collecting her thoughts, trying to focus on what she needed to say as oppose to what she really wants to say. "Just tell me." Rachel's voice takes on a soothing tone, her mind now not on distracting Quinn but on getting her to open up, to not censure her words because she wants to protect her.

"She had a bad night and I couldn't give her more pain meds…." Quinn massages the back of her neck as she turns to look through the door of Taylor's room. "She's sleeping again. I think I tired her out with my singing. She likes your new song though."

"If you sang it, anyone would love the song." She does not have to see her wife to know that she's smiling. "What's on your mind, love?"

It's the way Rachel says the words, like everything's going to be ok because she's there and they're always going to be together and she just has to tell her. "Taylor's going to be in the hospital for weeks maybe a month or so. And she doesn't have anyone to care for her…" Her voice trails off as she strains to hear Rachel but her wife is staying silent. "I want to…I want us to apply to be her foster parents and eventually…maybe adopt her."

Rachel does not know what she had expected to hear, maybe that Quinn was feeling guilty or that she wanted to pay for Taylor's bills or even wanting her to fly back to sing to Taylor. Each of those more expected than adoption.

Rachel loved her dads. They had raised her to be the person she was today and she knows she owes them so much. But she can recall in great detail always feeling like a part of her was missing. Not a big part, not even something that she was hyper aware of most of the time. But every now and then, when she saw the moms drop their children off at school or found something about herself that was so different from her dads, that missing piece became more prominent in her mind.

Shelby rejecting her had hurt more than anything. She would never blame Beth or Quinn and had even forgiven her mom however, the memory of finding out about Shelby adopting Beth following so closely on the heels of her own rejection had made her realize that she would never feel whole. Her dads' love and Quinn were more than enough to make up for it but she had lost something that she knew she could never get back.

So she did want a family with Quinn, a child or even children that they could raise together. But in her mind's eye, they were always a part of her or Quinn. She always imagined a boy with Quinn's hazel eyes and her sharp wit and a girl with brown hair and a penchant for breaking out into song. She'd daydream about being pregnant. Deep down she wanted to prove that being Shelby's daughter didn't predispose her to not want her own children. It was a weird and complicated way of working things out in her head but it was what she needed to believe.

"Rach?" Quinn's tentative voice silencing the thoughts in her head almost instantaneously because she's so unused to hearing her sound so unsure.

"I'm here, sorry….I guess I wasn't expecting that. What do we have to do to be foster parents?" She knows enough to know that it doesn't mean forever and there were probably a lot of things that needed to be done, forms to be filled in order to get the process started. All of it was things that could keep Quinn in New York.

"Are you…I'm not telling you…I'm asking you…"Quinn wishes she could see Rachel, look into her eyes and really know that she was ok with this instead of just hearing her voice. She was expecting Rachel to sound happier, more enthused but also realizes that she has other things to worry about, like her potential stalker. "Did you get any more boxes? IS that why you sound worried?"

"No, definitely no more boxes. Don't worry."Rachel's quick denial and firm tone gives her some comfort.

"Is it becoming foster parents then? Because I know I haven't…" Quinn realizes that one of the reasons they fit so well is because she tends to internalize as many things as possible while Rachel goes to the other extreme such that they finally balance each other out.

"No, Yes.." Rachel knows the best lie is to hide it within a greater truth. She does not want to lie to Quinn but her safety will always be paramount. "I'm just surprised but it doesn't mean I don't want it."

"So you're ok with me starting the paperwork?" Quinn's hopeful voice spurring Rachel on despite all her reservations and she pushes down her feelings of fear and uncertainty because she does love Quinn.

"Yeah and since Marcie is here and Santana is coming, why don't you try and get it done this week. I'll miss you but I think I can think of ways for you to pay me back." She loves the way Quinn laughs, starting out as a chuckle, low in her throat and sometimes turning into giggles as she goes red because she knows exactly what Rachel's thinking about.

"Are you sure?" Rachel had sounded different when she had picked up the call and Quinn's still worried. "I miss you and I can fly.."

"I know." Rachel cuts her off, "And I miss you too but this is important to you…to us so let's do it. Let's become foster parents." In Rachel's mind, she not sacrificing anything and Taylor really did need someone and she knew that Quinn had a connection to her. Just because she had issues with adoption didn't mean that she couldn't deal with them especially if it meant that Quinn would be safe.

"Ok, I'll make the calls and I love you."

**End Part 6**


	7. Misery

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Say your faith is shaken  
you may be mistaken  
you keep me wide awake and  
waiting for the sun  
I'm desperate and confused  
so far away from you  
I'm getting here  
don't care where i have to go**_

**Maroon 5**

"So what you're telling me is you have a couple of partial prints but you can't do a damn thing about anything except look into it?" Santana's voice is razor sharp even as she tries to control the anger she feels bubbling up. She realizes she's the one asking for a favor and she knows that everyone was trying their best here. She sighs as her voice softens imperceptibly but enough such that she doesn't sound too bitchy, "Can you at least tell me if it's anyone Rachel knows?"

Detective Martin does not understand the connection between Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez, only seeing the link when she had followed up with the crime lab and found that it was Ms Lopez who had asked for the tests to be done. All she knows is that Santana's an ADA in San Francisco. She can hear worry even through the phone line and understands that perhaps there is a strong link between the two women that she does not understand. "What's your connection to all of this, to Ms Berry?"

The question gives Santana pause. How does she explain feeling beholden despite never really being friends with Rachel, or her rivalry with Quinn which contributed to making her who she was today. Their history binding them in ways that she cannot articulate but it propels her to act now. "Rachel's an old acquaintance and her wife and I go way back." Her voice heavy with emotion that she tends not to show and she refrains from saying anything else and waits for the detective to answer her initial question.

"You know I can't release any information pertaining to the case. We will talk to Ms Berry.." The expletive she hears over the phone does not faze her because she can empathize with the sentiment. "Listen, two hits came up from our database. We're going to question the person of interest here and we have touched base with the NYPD."

"One of the hits was from someone in New York? Does Rachel know?" Santana tamps down on her instinct to hang up and just call Quinn. "Her wife's in New York." She knows Quinn can take care of herself but it didn't mean that she was invulnerable. It was a scary thought to know that the person targeting Quinn could be there and she wouldn't know it.

"We know." She had been the one who had told Rachel Berry that perhaps it was safer for her wife to remain in New York and right now she's not sure if she had done the right thing. Detective Martin hates being wrong but she hates putting innocent people in danger more. "Listen, the person of interest in New York, he may have access to their house…"

Santana's hand goes unconsciously to the phone pad, wanting to hang up the call and dial Quinn's number but she takes a deep breath, "Like a plumber, trades person? Not a friend or colleague?"

"Yeah, like that." Sondra Martin knows she may have overstepped the tenets of her job but she's sworn to protect the public and if she couldn't do that, then she had to ensure that someone else could.

"Thanks." Santana hangs up, her fingers already punching out Quinn's number.

#$#$#$#$

"Troy? You mean he's the fu..."Rachel closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, stopping her words, "You think he did this, that he sent the pictures and made the calls?" Her voice is hopeful because she can totally kick his ass and Quinn would love to make her threat a reality.

The two detectives exchange a look before Detective Sullivan clears his throat, "Umm, actually no. The print was on the outside of the box and when we questioned Mr. Callen, he said he saw it on one of the craft services tables when he went to get a snack. He pushed it aside with his finger to get to the French chocolate cupcakes."

"Do you have any reason to believe that he would want to send you the box?" Rachel thinks about the question and wants to say that it has to be Troy. He had been spiteful and rude but he hadn't hidden his hate for Quinn. In fact, he had revelled in it. But the pictures of them in New York couldn't have been taken by Troy.

A number of them were more than a year old and Troy had been stuck on some Pacific island last year, when he had signed up for one of those reality TV programs because he needed to raise his profile.

"We used to date and the break up wasn't the most pleasant but it was mutual." She remembered the day it happened. Troy had been the coward he was and had brought his agent along not for moral support but to actually broker the terms of their break up such that he would not look like the ass that he was.

In the end, all she really wanted was to have him out of her life so she didn't argue when he said he would handle the press release of their breakup. The subsequent slant of the information made it sound like she had been more at fault but he had left her alone and in the end, it had eventually resulted in her finding Quinn. So in her book, she ended up the real winner.

"So you have no reason to believe he would want to harm you or your wife? He never physically threatened you when you were together?"

Rachel shakes her head, in answer to both questions, her heart heavier now than before and her fears increase exponentially when she hears the detective's next words.

"Then it would seem that the perpetrator in question is probably from New York. We are coordinating with the NYPD to question one, Nick Halloran." Rachel blinks at the name, not recognizing it yet knowing that despite the name sounding almost benign, the man in question could end up hurting Quinn.

"My wife, I have to tell her. Who is he? How does he know us? Is Quinn in danger?" Each subsequent word is said with a sense of urgency such that she's up from her chair and grabbing the phone from the side table before she feels Detective Martin's hand on her arm.

"He's an out of work actor currently working as a gardener. He used to be your gardener. The police there have been notified and should pick him up soon." Rachel blinks, the name not sounding remotely familiar before she realizes who they're talking about.

She remembers the conversation last year when Marcie had been the one who had asked her for a favor. She hadn't paid attention to his name then or even how he looked like but she had agreed to let him into her house because Marcie had asked.

When they first bought the house, Rachel had complained that the gardens were a mess. She was the one who had insisted on hiring a gardener and when Marcie told her about one of her out of work clients who had a green thumb, she didn't even think twice before saying yes.

"Ms Berry?" Rachel looks down to see the phone tightly gripped in her hand. She just wants to call Quinn but she does not know what to say. 'Honey, I agreed to let a crazy person into our house' just didn't sound right.

"What happens next?" She sees both detectives looking at her, "Does he get arrested? Will this stop? Should I ask Quinn to come to LA?" She wants them to tell her that everything is under control and she has nothing to worry about. But the problem is she can read their demeanor; and despite their passive look she can tell that her problems are far from over.

"Just take the same precautions we talked about and at this time, it's probably wise to change the locks at your New York house and ensure the alarms are working."

Rachel does not know what to think or how to react. Whatever decision she wants to make seems fraught with so many dangers for Quinn that she feels paralyzed. All she understands is that she needs to protect Quinn at all costs even if it meant hurting her in the short run.

#$#$#$#$

"Do you think she's safe? Dammit S, is she safe?" Quinn enunciates each word, her voice getting louder as she gets the full sentence out and concentrates on this one conversation, not wanting to think of what could happen or the fact that she feels so helpless, like she did in High School when she had stared at the pregnancy kit, the blue bar indicating that she had been well and truly fucked.

"More safe than you are right now." Santana wishes Brittany was with her right now; not to take over the conversation but just to have her hand to hold. She misses Brit's optimism and hell. She just misses Brittany, every second of her miserable existence since they left Lima to go their separate ways. "I'm going to fly to LA tomorrow night. Can you get a flight out?"

Quinn looks at her patients files strewn across her desk. One in particular draws her attention, a baby pink folder in a sea of pale green ones: Taylor's file. Inside were the newest test results indicating she was still so fragile and needed so much more time to heal. "I…" She wants to see Rachel, knowing she does need the physical validation but Taylor needed her too.

In the end though, Rachel was the most important thing in her life bar none. "I can take a flight out tonight but I need to be back on Sunday." She's already working out her new schedule in her head. "I need to call her." She hears Santana's gruff response, a cross between a curse and a sigh and can't help her own volley back. "For the love of God, S, just get your own ass to LA and beg for her forgiveness before you explode with all that pent up frustration."

She wants to retort back, to tell Quinn to back the hell off and leave her be. Only, she realizes that she does need the external push. She's been hovering around the edges for far too long and cannot see the way forward even if she wants to finally take the leap. "Rachel says that she's doing well."

Quinn understands what Santana needs from her. Their bond still strong despite time and distance and it's the least she can do for all Santana has done for her and Rachel thus far. "Her dance studio is doing really well. She's Brittany and she misses you even if she doesn't say it. She hasn't dated anyone serious in years." Quinn does not want to tell her about the one night stands and getting phone calls in the early mornings just as she finished another shift at the hospital and Brittany was stumbling home, bereft and sad and just needing to hear a friendly voice even one that was thousands of miles away.

When Rachel became a part of her life and found out about Brittany, both she and Tina re-established their friendships with her, helping her fledging dance studio as well as being there for her, like Quinn had been. "It's not too late." She can picture Santana nodding, not wanting to say anything because she knows that Quinn is right and she's the one who's wasted so much time.

"Be careful." Santana hangs up, her fingers drumming on her desk top, feeling the urge for a cigarette to calm her already fraying nerves. She had given up the habit years ago, only occasionally straying back, the impetus hastened by thoughts of Brittany or stress and in this instance both. As she curses out loud in Spanish before pushing her chair back and stalking off towards the lift, knowing she'll finish the pack before tomorrow.

#$#$#$#$

"I don't understand." Quinn tries to keep the anger from her voice. It leaks out in other ways as her fingers tighten around the phone and she grits her teeth. She looks down at her table and sees the papers all stacked neatly in two piles. Every t crossed and every i dotted, all ready for Rachel's signature. Only Rachel's on the phone telling her that she didn't want to do it or at least it seemed like Rachel was changing her mind.

Quinn lets out a ragged sigh, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose as she tries to put herself in Rachel's shoes. "I know this seems like a sudden change of heart on my side but I always thought that you wanted to have kids."

And Rachel can only nod on the other end of the line because Quinn's basic assumption is still correct although her interpretation of it is not. She wanted to have their own children, to show that she wasn't Shelby and Quinn wasn't like her parents either. "I just think maybe we should talk about this face to face. I…Listen, I know I said you should just go ahead with the paper work but maybe we need to discuss this first. When does your flight get in?" She had been expecting Quinn's call. The timbre of her voice bringing some comfort yet still not fully removing the fear Rachel feels building up within her. She felt adrift, powerless to stop the words that flowed from her even as she could picture her wife hurt by them or hear the waver in Quinn's voice.

She had been relieved to hear Quinn was planning on taking a flight out in a few hours but her relief turned to fear as soon as she found out that Quinn was planning to fly back to New York less than two days later in order to file all the paperwork for Taylor. All Rachel can think of is protecting Quinn by any means.

"Half past eleven. I'll pick up a car and drive over." Quinn knows that they've always had a tradition ever since she got slightly hurt in a scuffle at the hospital in New York. Rachel would be up waiting for her and if possible, pick her up from the hospital or in this case the airport. But she's feeling too raw right now and knows that the six hour flight would still not be enough for her to compose herself before she saw Rachel.

"Maybe you should consider staying longer?" The words are out before she can stop them but it's what she wants. Rachel wants Quinn with her even though she knows exactly what she's asking Quinn to give up.

"We'll talk about it when I get there. I love you." Quinn hangs up the phone before she can hear Rachel's reply. She needs to check up on Taylor before her flight and the only thing she's sure of is the fact that despite Rachel's reservations, she still wants to send in the paper work even without Rachel's signature because in her heart, she knows Rachel will say yes.

It's a scary thought to actually contemplate not having Rachel's support from the onset. However, she also feels the strong impetus to be there for Taylor as well.

"Dr. Fabray?" Julie, her scrub nurse has seen the look on her face before. A mixture of fear and worry and she can guess that it does not only pertain to Taylor but also her wife, Rachel. "You ok?" When they first paired up, she quickly noticed that Dr. Quinn Fabray's life revolved around the hospital and her patients. It was as if she didn't really have a life outside the hospital. All that changed when she had met with Rachel Berry.

"I.." Quinn runs her hand through her hair. "I miss her." Like Rachel, the words come out almost unbidden but they are the truth. She misses Rachel so much and she needed to see her. She knows that Taylor needed her too but if she really were being honest with herself, she would stop if Rachel asked her too. It wouldn't be what she wanted but she'd do it.

"Well then, you need to do your rounds and say goodbye to Taylor so you'll be in time for your flight." All Julie knows is that Quinn Fabray's love for her wife made her a better doctor overall. Sure, she stopped roaming around the hospital at all hours of the day but she was also more focused and empathetic.

"Thanks." Quinn grabs the papers on the table, hoping that Rachel just wanted to see her as much as she wanted to see Rachel and the call had been an anomaly that wouldn't change their agreement on being foster parents.

**End Part 7**


	8. Open Your Heart

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Don't try to run I can keep up with you**_

_**Nothing can stop me from tryin',**_

_**you've got to Open your heart to me, baby**_

_**I'll hold the lock and you hold the key**_

_**Open your heart to me, darlin'**_

_**I'll give you love if you, you turn the key**_

_**Madonna**_

They haven't said anything to each other except for the hello and hug when Santana had picked Brittany up from the front of her dance studio. The silence is semi comfortable so she does not feel the need to fill it as she focuses on the road and shivers slightly.

Santana doesn't know when she started feeling cold. If she thought about it, she would guess that it started in even when she left, she never really felt warm anywhere she ended up, even in Texas. She doesn't realize she's been drumming her fingers on the centre console until she feels Brittany's hand cover hers. Her touch was so familiar, and yet again she feels the same electric jolt that she felt the first time Brittany had held her hand. It had been an ordinary day in High School, her first month as a freshman under her belt and her greatest achievement of making Cheerios, still brand new, along with two other freshmen.

She had known Quinn and Brittany since grade school and they had been inseparable until Brittany developed faster and Quinn tried to emulate her sister, Frannie, two summers ago. Still, they were close and Santana hoped with all her heart that Cheerios would bring them back together again. She had felt it then, Brittany slipping her hand into hers, their shoulders touching as the tall blonde whispered in her ear, "I miss you." Those three simple words that were uttered by the woman beside her made Santana feel warm and special. But what really made all the difference was Brittany's hand on hers. The certainty that it felt absolutely right and the feeling it invoked in her, like she's invincible because they're together again. It was what made her decide that she will not let anything come between them ever again.

Only she hadn't really kept that promise even if she did try so hard to make it work on her terms. Santana realized in junior year how selfish she had been and had spent senior year making it up to Brittany in as many ways as possible. But she had been naïve and stupid and had still let fear rule her decisions more than love. She regrets so many damn things but the one thing she will never regret is having Brittany in her life even if it's not the way she would have wanted it to happen. "I miss you." Brittany's soft voice is unsure, and for the life of her, Santana cannot understand why they're just not together and then she remembers that she's been the one who had never taken the next step, always protecting what small part of her heart that remained unbruised.

Even now, the words are on the tip of her tongue, meant to explain that she had been scared and stupid and she missed Brittany so much that it literally hurt. But she can't bring herself to say them as yet. "We should be there soon." Santana glances at Brittany, the setting sun still giving her enough light to see the confusion and sadness that flit across the blonde's beautiful features.

"San." Brittany's always had a clear understanding of exactly what Santana meant to her. She was her everything even if she could never express it fully. To her, Santana's name represented all that was right with her world. Saying it meant that they had this connection that didn't need to be further explained or highlighted. Her tone indicated exactly what she wanted from the Puerto Rican. Right now, all she wants is for Santana to talk to her. It's been so long since they've seen each other and all she can think of is wanting to touch her, kiss her, hold her and not let her go back to San Francisco. But the only thing she will allow herself is to put her hand on top of Santana's, feeling the heat from the contact in the pit of her stomach and bringing back such strong memories that her voice carries her sense of need.

"I miss you too. Work's been crazy and I 'm exhausted every night when I get home but…" She trails off, wondering just how much she wants to share and is surprised when Brittany laughs, her hand tightening around Santana's.

"I take on so many classes that Rachel thinks she should stop talking about the studio and stop sending over new students. Only, I'm never so tired that I don't think about you." Brittany braces herself, knowing what's coming up next. She's conditioned herself early on to not talk about her feelings directly because Santana just couldn't accept them. Not after she had been rejected, in her mind, in lieu of Artie. "I think about you too, all the damn time." Her words come out as a desperate whisper, strung together and expelled in one breath because she's admitting to something that she's always been too frightened to say out loud knowing she'd be giving Brittany the choice to once again to break her heart.

"I wonder if Rachel's going to make us eat vegetables." It's such a Brittany thing to say that all Santana can do is laugh, her own hand now holding on to Brit's as tightly as Brit is holding on to her. She thinks that maybe after all these years, things are finally going right for them. Their timing finally aligned and nothing is standing in their way. Adding to that, she actually had witnessed a bona fide miracle happen when Rachel and Quinn actually got together. If Quinn, who was even more repressed than anyone else she's ever met, can express her love for one Rachel Berry; if those two, who were once sworn high school enemies, can put the past behind them and start a future as lovers; then Santana could be just a little more brave and open herself up to one Brittany S. Pierce.

"Don't worry, babe, we can always go out for burgers later. There's a good burger bar near my hotel." It's part code and part offer to Brittany because all Santana can remember are hot make out sessions in back booths and bathrooms throughout junior and senior year followed by her buying Brittany dinner because it lessened her guilt. She sees Brittany stare at her, her eyes opened impossibly wide. Another shared memory between them and Santana holds her breath, hoping that it does not stop their forward momentum. Then she sees it, the quintessential Brittany smile, white teeth and a look of pure joy that she missed so much, it hurt just like everything else. "I'm so going to hold you to that."

Santana can only nod as she's mesmerized by the smile that she almost misses the turn, cursing under her breath not at her situation but the curving hidden roads of the Hollywood Hills. Leave it to Berry to rent a house that had a two hundred feet driveway. "We're finally here." Brittany's proclamation as she pulled up to the gate makes her think that the blonde is talking about more than reaching Rachel's house. It's weird but she finally feels the warmth of the car heater.

#$#$#$#$#

Rachel feels a sense of desperation permeating her every word as she stares across the room at Quinn. Her arms are curled around her torso, wishing that they were Quinn's but the blonde is across the room, staring out the window. Her profile familiar and yet different because her jaw is set so tight, Rachel can practically hear her teeth grinding together. "They're going to be here soon." She wants to acquiesce to Quinn's request, her eyes straying to the papers on the side table, Quinn's favorite pen on top, uncapped and ready to be used. But she does not want Quinn to go back to New York. "We can discuss this later."

"No." The minute she had seen Rachel, she knew something had changed. Her wife looked scared but more than that, she looked like she had been pushed into a corner and had no choice but to fight back. Quinn remembered that look from their early interactions at the hospital when Rachel had wanted to give up on her treatments. However, Quinn was just not going to let that happen. She had used Rachel's anger then and maybe she had to do the same now.

"You've been stewing for a fight since I got in last night. And I just want to know why? What happened? Did I do something or not do something?" She sees Rachel open her mouth but she holds her hand out stopping her words. "This can't just be about Taylor or being foster parents. Rach…" Quinn loved saying Rachel's name whether in full or in its diminution; each time, changing her tone with every utterance because she was always conveying so many things with that one word.

"He's been in our house, the man calling us. The detectives here think it's the gardener we hired last year. You can't go back." The tears that have been threatening to fall finally make their appearance. And it's the only impetus Quinn needs to breach the chasm between them as she rushes forward, her arms encircling Rachel.

"We'll change the locks, install alarm systems, I'll get body guards." She murmurs the words in Rachel's ear, her arms tightening around the brunette. "I'll be careful." Her words are meant to comfort but she can still feel the tenseness in Rachel's body that signifies she's worried about so many more things. Quinn does not want to believe that a part of it could still be about Taylor but she wants the truth, even if it meant she had to choose between Rachel and the little girl.

"I could go back to just file the papers and fly back as soon as that's done?" Rachel can hear the yearning in Quinn's voice, a want that is reflected in her hazel eyes even as she tries to shield it from her. It's impossible to say no. She wants to meet Taylor, to see who Quinn had fallen in love with, because Rachel could see that she had. "I'll go with you. The scenes this weekend are mainly for Troy. We'll fly home, I'll meet Taylor and you can pack."

Quinn knows she's being irrational in thinking it was safer for her to be in New York than for Rachel, her need to protect Rachel outweighing all her other interests. She can still feel the tenseness in Rachel and wants to find out what else is bothering her wife, the words ready and on the tip of her tongue except she hears the knock on the door signifying their guests had arrived. "We will discuss it later." Her words now tempered with a smile and kiss before she goes to open the door.

#$#$#$#$

Santana never tried to picture the future because she always felt it would always be a disappointment. She learnt the hard way that wishing and dreaming never resulted in anything good in her life. And in her wildest dreams, she would never have pictured Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray married and so in love, it made her want to gag. She feels Brittany's hand on her thigh, squeezing gently as if she's read her mind and truth be told, Brittany was the only one who could. Their eyes met and Santana smirks before her words tumble out. "Berry, I swear to god, if vegetarian lasagna is the only thing on the menu tonight, I'm seriously going to go postal on your ass."

She sees Quinn about to react only to be stopped by Rachel's hand on her arm, stilling her almost immediately as Quinn turns to glance at her wife, her eyes shining with love. It's such a small gesture that signifies so much as she feels with Brittany's touch as well. They belong to the women sitting next to them, heart and soul. She almost rolls her eyes at her thoughts but controls herself.

"There are three kobe beef steaks in the kitchen. Quinn was waiting for you to get here before she put them on the grill." Quinn's already up and halfway to the kitchen at Rachel's words but not before she gives Santana a warning look before as she walks away. It's such a reminder of their time in High School that Santana can't help but grin as she juts out her chin as if daring Quinn to say anything else. But apparently, the blonde was as whipped as she was and dutifully made her way to the kitchen while Brittany's continued hold on her stops her from doing or saying anything else.

"I'm going to help Quinn." Brittany stands, ignoring the small sound of protest from Santana. She does not know the specifics of what's going on but she knows enough to understand that Santana was helping Rachel with something and they needed to talk.

Rachel takes a deep breath, "I'm going back with her to New York for a few days." She wants to say home but ever since she found out about the break in, she can't think of their house as a home anymore.

"Are you crazy? Someone has access to your house there. I though the plan was to keep her in LA?" She knows that they're all not thinking as rationally as they should and something's been bugging her but she just can't place her finger on it.

"We'll stay in a hotel and she just wants to file the foster papers." Rachel sees Santana's eyes nearly bug out at her words.

"You guys are adopting?" Rachel nods at the question. "That makes sense." The words came as a surprise to Rachel. She looked up to meet Santana's gaze, her expression demanding an explanation from the Latina because it doesn't make any sense in her mind. But then, she's biased.

"You and Quinn, what you guys went through." Santana wants to use the word epic but just can't bring herself to say it. "You'd make great parents." She sees Rachel looking at her and can actually, god help her, divine the uncertainty that Rachel is feeling. "Giving Beth up, it made her feel like she had given up that she needed to make up for doing that. For doing so many things that she regretted doing in High School."

They had only talked about it once, years ago at one of Puck's last parties of the year. Quinn had been drinking and surprisingly, Santana had not. The conversation they had, explained so much about their complex relationship because no matter what, they had always been there for each other when it mattered.

"She never wanted to talk about having kids." Rachel's learnt so much about Quinn over the years but even then, there are parts she still doesn't know about. Parts that the blonde had hidden, experiences from before that only people like Santana and Brittany were privy to.

"Do you blame her? Not only her upbringing but also considering she still thinks she's made so many mistakes she needs to make up for."

"That's crazy, she has nothing to make up for...Our kids wouldn't…." Rachel trails off, finally understanding the minute differences in how she and Quinn viewed children. Rachel wanted her own kids because she hated feeling like she never fully fit and Quinn didn't because she didn't want the genetic link. They had come together against all odds, found so much common ground and thrived on the fact. This one small difference though could bring it all to an end unless she changed her mind. She hears laughter from the kitchen and knows for a fact she can't live without Quinn. She had saved her life, literally and figuratively and maybe giving up her dream to have kids of her own was the sacrifice she needed to make.

#$#$#$#$#$

Quinn wonders what her oldest friend and her wife are actually talking about, their low voices drifting into the kitchen. All she hopes is to not hear Rachel's upset voice and so far she hasn't.

"San's not going to hurt her, she's one of us." Brittany nudges her aside, taking the tongs from her hand and turning over Santana's steak knowing that she liked it bloody. Quinn arches her eyebrow at Brittany.

"She's here." Brittany says the words in awe, like she never expected Santana to finally show up and Quinn realizes that her friend had been hurting too. Despite the distance that separated them, she always thought that Santana and Brit belonged together and would work it out eventually.

"Yeah, she is and she better not screw up with you." Quinn's eyebrow is still arched and she's heartened to Brittany giggle.

"Or you'll make her do laps."

They're both laughing so hard now such that Santana and Rachel rush in to see what's going on. Santana sees Rachel starring wide eyed at the two blondes almost doubled over with laughter. "She's your wife." The words indicating that Rachel should know exactly how this came about even though her expression is as clueless as Santana's. But their laughter is infectious and despite all the lingering fear and differing uncertainties felt by the four women, both Rachel and Santana join in. Their focus so much on their significant other that no one notices the movement in the backyard, his focus solely on the short brunette, his anger rising as he sees her reach out to the blonde. He knows exactly what he needs to do now as he moves further into the shadows, waiting for the right time because he knows he'll finally get what he deserves.

**End Part 8**


	9. And I'm Telling You

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Tear down the mountains**_

_**Yell, scream, and shout like you can say what you want**_

_**I'm not walking out**_

_**Stop all the rivers, push, strike, and kill**_

_**I'm not gonna leave you**_

_**There's no way I will**_

_**Dreamgirls**_

Rachel's at that point where sleep's just about to overtake her. Her arm is flung around Quinn's middle and her even breathing lulling the brunette to sleep. It's then that she hears the ringing phone and it sends a jolt of fear through her that she feels almost paralyzed until she sees Quinn's hand reach out to answer it.

"No." The word is laced with panic such that it stops Quinn's hand and she turns to look at Rachel, staring wide eyed at her. The ringing phone now relegated to the background as she pulls her wife towards her, wanting to offer comfort and needing to ensure that she was ok. Quinn's never been more afraid as she hears Rachel's labored breaths and notes how pale her features are even in the dim light. Seeing Rachel look frightened was not something she liked to witness. She was always the fearless one. Even when she was fighting her cancer, Rachel had her bouts of uncertainty but outright fear like this was unsettling because Quinn didn't know what to do to remove it.

"It's ok, we'll let the machine answer it. Rach, sweetheart, it's ok, I'm right here." She feels Rachel's heartbeat hammering in her chest as she pulls her trembling body close and just holds her until the tenseness dissipates from her body.

"Quinn." Her voice is whisper soft, "Don't go back to New York." She promised herself that she wouldn't do this. She didn't want to make Quinn choose between her and Taylor but the terror she felt at the thought that someone didn't like their relationship and could hurt Quinn outweighed her own need to be fair. She tries to stop the words from leaking out but like her fear, they bleed out regardless. Only, she knows Quinn so well and can predict almost word for word what Dr. Fabray is going to say. Rachel's never wished for Quinn to be different but right now, all she cares about is keeping Quinn with her.

Very early on, even before she realized she loved Rachel, Quinn had promised herself that she would never want to disappoint Rachel. It was a solemn promise made but at the same time, Quinn knows she could never abandon a patient either. Especially one as special as Taylor is to her. "I…" She lets out the breath she's been holding. "I'll stay." She can see the surprise on Rachel's face at her words. She's not promising to stay forever but she does need to ensure that Rachel was protected and didn't have to feel dread in her own home either. That meant changing their phone numbers and hiring protection and trying her best to remove that look of fear from Rachel's face. Only then would she feel comfortable in flying back to New York.

Rachel wishes that Quinn meant that she wouldn't go back at all but can see from her expression that it's just a temporary reprieve. "We can fly Taylor out, get her into one of the hospitals here… Cedar Sinai is pretty good and you've consulted there before. Maybe you could even do your job in LA." Rachel knows that she's rambling as she scrambles off their bed, needing to distance herself from Quinn. She just wanted to put some space between them as she launches into all the reasons to make Quinn see why going back was just not an option. "He's in New York, don't you understand that this person…this man or woman thinks that we shouldn't be together, this person is there waiting for you." Her final words now tinged with the same strand of panic that she felt bubbling up earlier. Rachel knows that she sounds irrational but right now, she just doesn't give a damn. The only thing she is certain of is the feeling she has that she won't see Quinn again if she let's the blonde back to New York.

She used to feel like she had a sixth sense about her, some residual psychic ability that allowed her to feel something beyond the obvious. It had been a running joke in Glee Club. But in the end, when it mattered, it had given her that extra push to be different and stand up for herself. Even allowing her to make decisions that went beyond her comfort zone like trusting Quinn that first time she had asked her to, back at the hospital in New York. She feels Quinn's arms encircle her from behind and the warmth they provide as Quinn's chin rests on her shoulder, her voice calm and soothing in her ear.

"I know you're scared."

It was a complete understatement because Quinn can see that she was absolutely freaking terrified. "I love you. I will never do anything to hurt you." her words impassioned because she has never meant them more. Only she understands that the choice she wants to make is one that will hurt Rachel but it's also the right choice. "But Taylor can't fly to LA, at least not yet. She needs time to heal and recover. I can't leave her, Rach." the plea in her voice apparent and visceral because she can't bring herself to hurt Rachel even though she knows she won't abandon Taylor. She feels shattered with the knowledge that despite her best intentions, she will need to choose.

Rachel knows she can extract promises from Quinn, words that carried weight and meaning. But in the end, she knows that it's up to her and she needed to make a choice. Hearing Quinn's voice, plaintive and almost broken was impetus enough for her to swallow her fear despite the nagging feeling that she needs to stop Quinn. Rachel blinks back her tears, her hands pressed into her stomach as she accepts that she does not have a choice here because Quinn is her life. "So it's settled. We'll go back together." Her words final and she feels Quinn sag against her in relief but all she feels is dread, cold and hard, in the pit of her stomach.

#$#$#$#$

Her hands fit so well around the blonde, their bodies melding together. Brittany's head is comfortably tucked into the crook of her neck such that she does not want to break off the embrace. Instead she breathes in as deeply as she can. The scent that assails her and surrounds her is so familiar that it brings back a flood of memories so intense, she literally has to hold on tight because she would fall otherwise.

"Don't go." Her words are murmured into blonde hair that smells of strawberry and lime. She feels Brittany shift and catch her words. Even as she realizes that she has to let go, her hands are not listening to her brain and she just holds on tighter.

"I'm not going anywhere, at least not yet."

They had stopped for a drink at her hotel bar, at first, the both of them acting more like acquaintances as opposed to ex lovers. And through every second of it, all Santana could feel was the strong urge to ask Brittany up to her room but she held her tongue and she had not said anything instead swallowing the words along with the alcohol. Desperately hoping that it would give her the liquid courage she needs to say the words that would make Brittany stay. Luckily, Brittany had read her mind and it had been the blond who had taken her hand and lead her to the elevators.

The searing kiss they shared on the ride up, enough of a clue that she deftly produces the key card, swiping it through the lock and opening the door all with one hand as the other kept a firm grip onto Brittany, ensuring she didn't change her mind.

"Not ever." Santana does not mean to say them out loud but the words are uttered with such fierce determination that Brittany finally pulls back to stare at her, her blue eyes wide at the implication of the Latina's words.

"But you live in San Francisco." It's the first thing that comes to her mind although if she were being honest, the first thing to occur to her was how was she going to move to San Francisco and where would she set up her studio. The one thing that she knows for sure is that she'll always love Santana and she was as in love with her today as she was when she first realized that pertinent fact.

The timbre of Brittany's voice resonates within her, mingling with regret for how much time she had wasted. Her next words suddenly become so much easier to express "I love you." _'I want to be with you. I don't ever want to leave you again', "Please god, don't ever leave me."_ The unspoken sentiment so obvious yet she still does not fully articulate all the words, holding back because of habit as opposed to need.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Brittany's tone now a touch defiant because she had always tried, even when Santana would hang up on her in a huff, to broach the subject of their love. She remembered the day Santana had called to tell her she was engaged. It had hurt so much not to scream in frustration at Santana's constant need to prove that she was fine with her life. And their time apart was working out for the both of them; because Brittany knows that it hasn't really worked out for her. She had missed Santana so much but had to hold it all in because showing even a bit of it would send the Latina running without a guarantee that she would ever come back. But this time, everything feels so different and maybe at last, things were going to work out.

She finally lets Brittany go, her hands reaching out to hold onto the blonde's, her expression finally revealing all of her fears. She had run from this for so long, convincing herself that she had to protect her heart because she could not survive the heartbreak of rejection. Only, Brittany was standing before her, asking her what she wanted to do.

She actually loved her job. Working for the Prosecutor's office had allowed her to project her bitchy side for the greater good and it was an amazing bonus. But it was nothing compared to having Brittany back in her life because the statuesque blonde in her arms, really was her life. "I'll quit my job, move to LA." Her words confident, but her heart skips a beat when she sees Brittany shake hear head and she has to blink back her tears, wondering if she was finally too late. She breaks off eye contact, Brittany's reaction stealing the breath from her lungs.

"Or I could move to San Francisco." Her hand traces Santana's cheek, now wet with tears. "Please don't cry, S," Her own voice now also thick with tears. All she wanted was for Santana to admit that she cared. Brittany knew that the fiery Latina did, she could hear it in her voice each time they talked even though they were separated by more than distance. To hear it now was all she needed to make up her mind. "I just want to be with you." Suddenly Brittany was moving forward and capturing Santana's lips, the kiss is fierce and fuelled by so much longing. Years of being apart fall away as she feels Santana's hands pull at her clothes, deftly unbuttoning her shirt as she shimmies out of her jeans. Brittany feels voracious, wanting to taste and touch every inch of Santana, missing the feel of her yet recognizing that she can still remember just what it took to make Santana scream her name in ecstasy.

#$#$#$#$

It's a beautiful California day, blue skies and an ambient temperature in the low sixties. He hates it because it's as far removed from New York as one could get. But he knows he has a job to do so he waits and watches, knowing that it's just a matter of time. He sees the four of them laughing at the table outside and wonders if they realize that he's there looking at them. His hands tighten around the steering wheel when he sees the blonde lean over to give Rachel a kiss. His heart rate picks up although he is emboldened by the fact that even if they seemed to be together, he can see cracks forming between them already.

Their near fight last night about that little girl back in New York was proof enough for him that the woman did not deserve Rachel. He could see that she was selfish, pushing Rachel into doing what she wanted even though he could see that Rachel didn't want to acquiesce. He promises himself that he would never do that. Rachel deserved to be happy and he was the only one who understood how to make her so. He was always going to be there for her but he needed to strike now, to remove that woman from Rachel's side.

It had started out as a job which became an obsession and right now he knows that he's the only one who's brave enough to do the right thing.

#$#$#$#

Santana never felt this happy or rather, she hasn't felt this happy in years but her own emotions does not detract from the fact that she can see both Rachel and Quinn struggling with something. "So spill it Fabray, what's up that's making Berry look like someone stole her Grammy award and all her Tony's as well?"

Quinn glances at Rachel, her hand automatically finding the brunette's as she gives it a squeeze, the touch meant to comfort and reinforce her love even if her words convey otherwise. "Rachel wants to accompany me back to New York." She turns to Rachel, "Only, I still don't think it's a good idea. I would love you to meet Taylor but there's no reason for you to go back with me right now…Especially since you think this person stalking you is in New York." She hears Rachel let out a frustration sigh as her hands go to rub the sides of her temple. She knows that they've had this conversation before. In fact, they've been having the same conversation since last night, each time expecting different outcomes, but all that occurs is an increased level of frustration between them.

"And your safety is apparently less important than mine." Rachel tries to keep the frustration from her tone but it's so difficult because they've been having iterations of this argument since last night.

It's on the tip of her tongue to say yes to Rachel's statement until Santana cuts in. "That's kind of stupid Q but then you are kind of blinded by love." The derogatory tone she's using driving home a point that both women before her finally realize. "Considering we have a medical degree, a law degree, some freaking music degree from Berry and B's diploma in world politics, I think between the four of us, we can think of something that keeps the both of you safe."

"Fine." Quinn concedes that maybe there could be a different way to go about all of it. She rises, slinging her bag over her shoulder, "I'll get the car and pick you up out front." She sees Brittany stand to follow her, and knows that the blonde wants to ask her a question alone.

They're walking side by side, shoulders touching and it feels like they're back in high school, just working up their courage to talk about something serious.

"What do you have on your mind?" Quinn leans over, linking their hands, pulling Brittany close making their blond heads now indistinguishable.

She turns her head slightly and catches Brittany's look, there's a smile gracing her face but it's also suffused with wonder as she turns to talk to Quinn. "She asked me to be with her, like for real this time, like forever…Santana's finally not afraid anymore." Her words are said with such joy as Brittany steps off the curb first but it's Quinn who hears the sound of the engine revving and sees the car speed up from the corner of her eye.

Everything happens so damn quickly such that all she registers is pain and sound. She can distinguish the sound of the barreling car from the sound of the sickening thud as the body hits the pavement. But what echoes in her mind the longest are the sounds of Rachel and Santana's screams. Both voices so clear and full of pain, neither one fading until her consciousness does.

**End Part 9**


	10. Maybe This Time

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Maybe this time, I'll be lucky  
Maybe this time she'll stay  
Maybe this time, for the first time  
Love won't hurry away**_

_**Cabaret**_

Brittany reacts so quickly as she leaps sideways, pulling Quinn along such that her momentum propels Quinn backward and onto the pavement, her head making contact with it. The dancer is more unlucky as she feels the car swipe at her body, the impact sending all the air whooshing out of her lungs such that when she does hit the pavement herself, she can only whimper.

#$#

Quinn's been in a car crash before, the experience still etched so clearly in her mind, the scars on her body faded with time but still there as a constant reminder of what had occurred. Quinn feels Brittany pull at her with such force that she's flying through the air, landing on her side, her temple hitting the rough concrete. She feels the proximity of the car as it speeds past and hears the sickening sound of it hitting Brittany. And then she hears the screams, Rachel's voice so recognizable although its Santana's voice that sounds so extremely visceral and raw.

#$#

Nothing has felt right since she received that damn box but Rachel still counted on the fact that she and Quinn were better together than apart. The proposed lunch today had been her way of trying to get through to Quinn and she knew that Santana would help with that as well **,**  and she did.

Now, seeing Quinn walk away from her, she can't help but feel a cold sense of dread wash over her. She wants to call out as she feels a need to stop the two women walking arm in arm towards their parked car. And then it's too late when she sees Quinn falling backwards and hears the sound of Brittany being hit.

She screams Quinn's name, already running towards the two prone bodies knowing that Santana matches her stride for stride but outpacing her finally because the Latina chooses to run after the car, her voice hoarse and loud but still recognizable as the words tumble out.

#$#

In her mind's eye, she sees Brittany's graceful walk. And in her mind, she always remembers her leaping around like she tends to do when she dances—the graceful jumps that seem to defy gravity because she hangs in the air for just a bit longer than possible. Only, she sees the impact of the car hitting Brittany's form and all she can process at that moment is the overwhelming  _need_ to get her hands on the driver of the car **.**

She runs past Rachel and actually averts her eyes from the two bodies on the ground because she would not be able to function otherwise. Her throat is sore because she's screaming words, in English and Spanish pleading for god to make it ok. She knows she cannot catch the car but all she can truly hope for right now is to memorize some details, part of the number plate—anything that would allow her to finally end this nightmare.

She stops in the middle of the road, even as her voice cuts off and the only sound left is Rachel's cries. She can hear people from the restaurant trying to help, calls being made and knows she needs to turn around and see Brittany. It's a wonder that she can hear anything above the ancillary sounds and the pounding of her heart but she does.

She turns to see Brittany's head facing in her direction, hers eyes open, her mouth moving and knows that she's calling to her. Her legs move as quickly as she can as she takes in the scene before her. Both Quinn and Brittany are conscious although the blood soaking through Brittany's clothes makes her heart clench. She thinks she should be trying to stem the flow of blood but realizes she's totally out of her element and is too afraid to touch Brittany **.** So she stands two feet away, a stricken expression on her face.

She sees Quinn grab onto Rachel, using her as support in order to get to Brittany and it's Quinn who touches Brittany, her voice still somewhat controlled and soothing. "Your pelvis is fractured…and you're ..B…you're bleeding out." She shows Rachel where to apply pressure and then removes her jacket and pulls off Santana's as well when the Latina collapses next to her. She drapes them over Brittany, "We need to keep you warm."

She places her hands on top of Rachel's and when their eyes meet, she glances towards Santana **.** Rachel immediately understands that Quinn needs to do her job and it **'** s up to her to look after Santana. She tries to wipe Brittany's blood from her hands but she sees Santana's eyes following her movement and knows that nothing she can do or say will get through **.** So she puts her arm around the Latina instead, putting as much pressure as she can into the hug as they wait for the ambulance.

When Detective Martin and Sullivan arrive, they're just loading Brittany and Quinn into the ambulance. Rachel knows she can go with Quinn but Santana would not be accorded the same rights. It's a difficult decision to make but she knows that Quinn is fine and she was the only one who could help Brittany at that moment which left her to help Santana.

She's amazed at how together Santana seems as she gives a full description of the car and partial description of the license plate to the two detectives while answering all their questions, even going so far as to ask a few of her own.

It's only when Rachel notices that her nails are digging into her forearm so hard that she sees the almost broken skin, that she reaches out. She's expecting resistance from Santana but the woman is so lost in her own head that she does not pull back when Rachel puts her arms around her and leads her into the hospital.

#$#$#$#$

All the hospitals look different although the antiseptic smell and sounds are all so familiar and knowing that fact is of no comfort to Rachel. Whether it was New York or Lima or LA, she is beginning to hate hospitals. Quinn's vocation aside, she would gladly accept it if she never went to another hospital again.

Her insistence that Quinn has a thorough examination is not met with any resistance from her wife **.** And as much as she wants to be there to hear the doctor give Quinn the all clear, she knows she needs to be with Santana. The Latina had been silent to the point of being positively catatonic, only reacting slightly when she saw Brittany being wheeled to the operating theatre and Quinn being lead away to one of the examination rooms off to the side.

Rachel could see the look on her face wishing that it wasn't Brittany being wheeled away. And likewise, Rachel's thankful that Quinn was relatively unhurt. "Quinn says that they managed to stop the bleeding in the ambulance over and that's a good sign." Santana still does not react to her words. Rachel can see that she is barely hanging on so she just sits next to her, silent and just waiting for the right time.

She finally feels Santana shift next to her about ninety minutes later and her words tumble out. "I'm so sorry."

This time Santana does react, her voice sharp and steel tipped, "Why? You weren't the one driving the fucking car." She stands and turns around, feeling so confined all of a sudden and realizes she wants Brittany's arms around her.

"The car was aiming for Quinn. He was here not in New York. "She shudders as she recalls the scene." Someone wanted to hurt her because of me and…they hurt Brittany instead **.** " She sees Santana whip around and braces herself, her shoulders tense even as she manages to not shirk away.

"This is not your fault." the change in her tone so drastic that Rachel has to blink a few times to ensure that the words are coming out of Santana's mouth. "She's strong and she's going to be fine **.** And I'm going to stop this person from hurting Quinn or you or anyone else." It's an easy promise to make because she was definitely going to find the asshole, if it was the last thing she ever did.

Rachel sees the tears leak out and knows that Santana is scared but would never admit any of it. "When Quinn went into her coma, I prayed and bargained with God and sang until my voice was hoarse." The sheer thought of being helpless in that situation still sends chills down her spine. It's not something she likes to recall but she sees Santana looking at her so desperately and she knows that she's the only one who can truly understand exactly what she's going through.

"The only thing that I knew for certain was that I loved her and she loved me and if she survived…" Rachel stumbles over the word, even now knowing that she had been so blessed that Quinn had made it. "When she came out of it, I was never going to let anything get in our way." Saying the words now, made her realize that she hadn't totally stayed true to that promise.

Her fear about Taylor and everything else had overshadowed her promise to Quinn. She sees Quinn walking towards them, dressed in blue scrubs and knows exactly what she wants to say to her but she holds back understanding that Quinn had probably checked up on Brittany.

"X-rays showed that it was a stable fracture and since they stopped the bleeding in the ambulance, all they're doing now is fixing the damage." She sees Santana wince at her words, "S, she'll be able to walk but there's a possibility…" She sees Santana looking at her, willing her to stop speaking but Quinn knows she has to give her the full picture. "She may not be able to dance again..."

"Don't you dare say it." Her teeth are pressed together with such force even as the words leak out. She does not want to think of anything else as she just concentrates on the pressure on her jaw line as she grinds her teeth together. She knows that if she does not bite down as hard as she can, she'll start screaming at Quinn. Brittany was pure dance. She could move like no one else and it was like breathing to her. Her not being able to dance was cruel and Santana just does not know what to do. Unlike before, she was not the one standing in the way of Brittany's dream any more. This possible outcome was a million times worse.

When Quinn had first started treating Rachel, her focus was solely on saving her voice but she knew that if she had to choose between her life and her voice, she would choose the former each time. She never told this to Rachel but one of her nightmares after they got together was a recurring dream of Rachel refusing her treatments and dying on her operating table because she wanted to protect her voice above all else.

"She's alive S, and she wants to be with you." Quinn can still remember looking at Brittany's face, suffused with happiness, as she recounted Santana's words.

"You know she went to OSU with Artie because she was asked to teach dance classes there." Santana had been so incensed when Brittany had told her that she loved her but couldn't follow her to Washington. Despite Brittany's proclamation of love, it still felt like a rejection that the blonde had chosen Artie and Dance over her. Since then, it had festered in her mind that she would never rank first for Brittany. "She loves to dance."

"She loves you more." This time, it's Rachel who speaks up, her words measured but said with such certainty. "Why can't you see that? Why can't you accept it?" The entreaty now directed at both Santana and Quinn. She sees them so alike currently and the closest to their high school embodiment, both stubborn and pig headed and closed off to seeing what was so apparent.

Quinn finally looks at her and Rachel takes in her pale features, her hand tracing the scrape at the side of her head. "We'll make it work. Even if I have to hire an army of body guards or just stop filming the movie until this person is caught, we'll get through it together." The only thing that makes sense is that she does not want to be away from Quinn.

"I'm not…you love the role. You can't just give it up. I'm not asking you to give it up." Quinn does not expect this of Rachel as she recalls how happy her wife had been when she realized she was going to shoot the movie.

"I love you more." It's the simplest of statements highlighting an incontrovertible truth that negated all the reasons and excuses why they had to be apart.

Quinn knows she does not have to say anything else as she pulls Rachel towards her, "We should go up to Brittany's room **.** They'll bring her there soon. And I'm going to stay with you until they catch this person, here or in New York."

#$#$#$#$

He's never felt anger of this magnitude **.** He has always been able to control his baser instincts and project just the correct veneer. He's an actor and he's refined the art of hiding his own feelings while projecting something totally different. It was a gift as much as a skill honed over time and he knows he cannot let loose now even as his fingers curl into fists and he pictures hitting her, splitting her lip and drawing blood. He won't hit her though, her fear almost palpable now and he derives enough satisfaction from it.

Besides, he can see her two bodyguards standing by the door. So he pushes down on everything as he turns to Josh, ignoring both Marcie and Rachel for the time being. "You can't afford to shut down production for a week **,** much less indefinitely! Just get more security, close off the set. Hell, let her shoot her damn scenes in New York, if she wants to stay there." He turns to Rachel, towering over her and causing her to step back.

"You are not going to ruin this for me, do you hear me." Troy's menacing tone causing Marcie's own protective instincts to rise to the forefront as she deft steps between him and Rachel.

"It's in Rachel's contract that she can stop or pull out should she feel that she's been put in danger, dumbass." Marcie already blames herself for most of this debacle, not only putting together the deal for the movie but also allowing the stalker into the Rachel's home.

She had tried to quit yesterday, apologizing profusely as she recounted all the problems that she had inadvertently caused. Only **,**  Rachel would not let her so she knows she needs to do everything she can to protect Rachel.

"Troy's right, I can't afford to shut the production down indefinitely." Josh stares at Rachel, the fear etched on her face so obvious and he knows he cannot push her any further. She had called to tell him of the accident and her need to stay with her wife. He never expected things to get this out of hand. "We could maybe shut down for the week and you can go back to New York in the meantime? Didn't the police say that they have a good lead?" He sees Marcie nod at his words and wonders if it'll all end soon enough.

"They have his fingerprints and a description of the car he was driving. His name's Nick Halloran." Marcie still blames herself for triggering all of this. "He's a bit player, a part time actor from New York."

"What makes you think you'll be safe in New York then?" The sneer in Troy's voice is apparent but it's the way he says the words that gives her pause, like he's privy to something that she doesn't know.

"What do you mean?" Rachel stares at him, never seeing him in this light before. He's always been self centered but never explicitly cruel. However his tone makes her feel unsafe for the first time ever.

He does not say anything at first as he stares back at her unblinking, his arms crossed as he leans back against the side of the sofa. "I'm just saying that it seems that this person is following you. So what makes you think he won't follow you to New York? Maybe it's best if you stay here, finish the last few scenes. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." She recognizes him then, the guy she had thought she could love.

He had asked her out after they had presented together at the Golden Globes and she had demurred, not really interested in starting a relationship especially after what had happened with Lisa. But he had been persistent, sending her flowers and leaving messages on her machine.

He was handsome and funny but Rachel just didn't feel like he was serious about her. She had got the feeling that he liked the challenge because she had said no. And in hindsight, she had been right although it took her over two years to accept it.

Their first date was an impromptu one as he showed up backstage at her show, having flown half way across the country to catch it. She didn't find out until later, that his publicist had arranged his itinerary then. And subsequently, each time they went out, articles would appear in the papers and magazines.

Rachel knew she had been naïve in thinking that he liked her and didn't care if she was famous or not. Only, he did. And it got harder and harder to ignore the snide remarks he would make about her causes and even her dads. He would tell her he loved her and wanted to look out for her but in the end, all he really wanted was to be in the spotlight.

"No. I need to go back with Quinn. I'm so sorry Josh but I just can't stay here." She sees Josh nod at her words, resigned at her choice.

Troy just stares at her, his jaw set and he does not say a word and she knows he's furious and trying to control himself. She's seen him explode a few times, at wait staff and once at his chauffeur. His anger boiling over into belligerent rants and a fist fight once when some paparazzi had tried to take his picture as he left a Strip Club in West Hollywood.

It's unsettling to see his hate so plainly directed at her, "I'm sorry." Her apology meant to appease although she knows that it won't do much good as she leaves with Marcie wanting to get back to the Hospital to check on Brittany and just be with Quinn.

**End Part 10**


	11. Jar Of Hearts

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**And who do you think you are?  
Runnin' 'round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart**_

_**Christina Perri**_

"It's the only way." Quinn's voice is serious and low. As if she realizes that if she actually speaks any louder, Rachel would figure out what she was going to do even if the brunette was currently sleeping in Brittany's room. She takes in the slump of Santana's shoulders and wrinkled clothes, and she immediately hates herself for pushing this but she also knows that Rachel needs to be protected.

Santana sighs as she rubs her eyes, hr body feels so tired but she knows that she won't be able to sleep until Brittany open her beautiful blue eyes. Her head aches but it's nothing compared to the gaping hole she feels in her chest which she knows can only be filled once Brittany regained consciousness. "I'm not leaving her until I know she's going to be fine."

She sees Quinn look away and knows that her oldest and most probably best friend apart from Brittany was feeling guilty for this. But Santana cannot bring herself to give the blonde comfort, not when she still does not know if Brittany was really going to be a hundred percent fine.

"It happened so fast and if I could…" Quinn lets her words trail off because she knows she cannot take back what had occurred. And even if she had wanted to push Brittany out of the way, it didn't occur like that because Brittany had been the one to save her.

"We have to make him come for me." The words sounded so simple and Santana can see the logic in them. Hell, she's been sitting here for the past half hour listening to Quinn explain in great detail why they needed to find the prick and she had just been waiting for the punch line. Only, she doesn't feel like laughing at what Quinn had said. Instead, she feels like sobbing her eyes out because she knows that the blonde is being stupid and reckless. And her one fervent wish was that she just didn't want to see any more of the people she loved get hurt.

"I gave them the description of the car, the partial plate. There's an APB out for him and it's only a matter of time." But even as she says the words, Santana knows that it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. "All of you just have to go somewhere safe for a while and—"She's unsurprised when Quinn cuts her off, the doctor's voice rising for the first time.

"We need to end this now!" The pictures showed that he had been stalking them for months, patiently waiting, each act slowly escalating from just sending pictures to the threatening calls and now to actual physical confrontation. She cannot wait around for him to try again and inadvertently hurt Rachel. "I'm going to end this."  _'with or without you'_ the latter words unspoken but so clear.

And Santana gets it. She really does because she wants to get her hands on this guy too. That and she recognize the tone of Quinn's voice. They had won two consecutive National titles because of it. And she just knows that if Quinn used that tone, there simply was no going around the former HBIC. Quinn was determined to do whatever it took to keep Rachel safe. And Santana knows that it's up to her to try and keep Quinn safe.

She sighs again, this time louder, before capitulating, "What are you planning? And I swear to god Fabray, if you get hurt, I'll kill you myself." She's comforted to see Quinn smiling even though she knows that what she's just agreed to is borderline insane.

"He wants me out of her life so we'll give him a chance to take me out." She's already called the detectives and proposed herself as bait. It had taken a lot of convincing but in the end, she had been adamant that she was going to do it with or without their help.

"Marcie's arranged for a television interview for me at the house here and I'll stay there for the night." He followed them from New York; it just made sense that he would know exactly where Rachel was living in LA as well.

"What are you going to tell Rachel?" It's then that Santana truly understands how fucked up this whole situation has been because Quinn can't look her in the eye. "No." The word is spat out because she does not want to take the responsibility to tell Rachel if anything were to happen to Quinn.

"Are you fucking insane?" She does not give Quinn the chance to retort. "She's giving everything up because she loves you more and you're what? Planning to lie to her because you're brave enough to face a psychopathic stalker but too chickenshit to just tell her you're trying to stop all of it?"

Santana is not unfamiliar with cowardice. She had spent so long running away from Brittany all because she was too much of a coward to take another chance with her heart. She won't make that mistake again and she'd be damned if she'd let Quinn make it now.

"You tell her." She pulls at Quinn's arm, forcing the blonde to look at her and understand that this was non-negotiable. "You tell her and I'll make sure she's nowhere near the house tonight."

She does not break eye contact until she sees Quinn nod.

#$#$#$#$

All he wanted was for the movie to get as much publicity as possible; something more cutting edge than just guerrilla advertising and social media plays. He did get his wish as he sees the story in all the major newspapers and Nick's picture splashed across. But he also realizes that he needs to walk away now. His simple idea has blossomed into so much more than what he hoped for it to. And he needs to get away as far from it as possible before it completely explodes into a horrid mess.

It had been so easy to assume that having Rachel be the focus of a stalker would be a great way to garner free publicity, except for the fact that he never expected it to be real. He feels his phone vibrate and breathes a sigh of relief that he could at least try and stop it from getting any worse.

"No one was supposed to get hurt. What you did was crazy. You're crazy, man " His voice is harsh over the phone even as he paces in the room. "You said you were just going to scare her a bit, a story to sell some papers and get our movie more publicity." He strains to hear the reply above the traffic noises in the background. The entire situation was spiraling out of control. The movie already shut down instead of going into the final weeks of shooting.

"She won't come back to shoot the movie and you know it. You're as invested in this as I am. More!" He hears the question back and pauses, not wanting to incriminate himself further but knowing that he needs to protect himself as well. "I don't know. The girl you hit, she's hurt pretty bad. I don't think Rachel would leave her."

"You said no one would get hurt." He wonders if that was the plan all along and he had been too blind to understand the bargain he was making. "There's nothing else you can do. You can't hide behind Nick forever."

The curt reply he hears back is as unsettling as is the following silence over the phone. "I didn't want any of this. You're on your own. I'm out." He knows that he's grasping at straws and he's as involved in this mess as much as the man he's talking to.

He expects the response back although the amount of anger is scary. "I'll deal with Rachel Berry and then I'm coming for you. So you better be ready." The final words over the phone line causing him to stagger backwards, his face pale as he finally understands the full ramifications of dealing with someone who by all intents and purposes was completely out of control.

He knows what he needs to do as he rummages through the drawers on the desk, reaching in to find the gun he knows is there. His hand finds the bottle of pills before the gun and he dry swallows four of them before finally grabbing the weapon. The only thought in his head is to find Rachel.

#$#$#$#$

Brittany's hand feels so frail and all Santana can think about is all the time she had wasted. "Hey." Her voice is hoarse but hopefully still recognizable to Brittany. "Could you maybe just…open your eyes? I know you're in pain." Her voice cracks on the word, wishing so fervently that it wasn't true even as she recalls Quinn telling her what to expect.

Quinn had sat next to her, their shoulders touching as she explained what would happen when Brittany finally woke up. Her voice was laced with concern even as she tried to temper her words with hope. But Santana could never see things optimistically. She always expected the worse, not even bothering to hope for the best. To her, hope needs faith, and the only person she ever had faith in is lying unconscious before her.

"Please, B. I need you so much. I can't…I don't know what to do." She knows she sounds broken and she truly is. It's like she finally understands that she's never truly been whole, not since she left Lima and Brittany behind. She had tried so hard to pretend that she was fine, that her choices were all the correct ones, made to protect her heart and ensure her survival. Only, she knows for a fact she could never live without Brittany in her life

The words of prayer so fervently repeated in her head now spills out as do her tears as she bends her head down. Santana can feel Rachel's arms around her and finally looks up to see Quinn hovering about. They know each other well enough such that Santana expects Quinn to ignore her tears because she needed for one of them to be the strong one at this point in time. So she's at least relieved to see Quinn ignoring her as she reads over Brittany's chart hanging from the foot of the bed.

She was not in a coma, something Quinn had pointed out repeatedly and that it was just a matter of time before she opened her eyes. The two hulking men standing at the door a grim reminder of the danger that they were still exposed to and she can see the strain it has taken on Quinn even as she projects her calm façade. She had been the one who had arranged for personal security, not only for Rachel but for Brittany and Santana as well.

It's then that she hears the most beautiful sound but she does not react because she's not sure if it's all in her head. Only, she sees Quinn staring at the bed and Rachel's tentative smile.

"S?" She feels it then. Brittany's fingers were curling around her own and Santana doesn't even care that she's crying again. The Latina felt a plethora of emotions, but it is the joy of knowing that the woman she's loved since forever has finally woken up and was asking for her. The tears are overflowing now as she tries to blink rapidly, searching and finally latching on to blue eyes that she's missed so much.

"Hey, Baby, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." She's not really sure if she said the last part out loud so she repeats the words as she holds on to Brittany's hand as tightly as she can. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good." Brittany gives her that smile, the one that tells her she completely understands everything Santana is not saying to her as much as understanding everything she did say. Their connection tested over time sometimes waning with disuse is finally back, stronger than ever.

Santana wants to stay within these four walls so badly and never let Brittany go but she also made a promise to Rachel. She knows she needs to find the asshole who had the audacity to go after Quinn and who ended up hurting Brittany.

"I know you mean you're not leaving me again, to go to Washington or Houston or some other ton…" Brittany grimaces as a wave of pain washes over her. Both Quinn and Santana reacted as they move forward, Quinn to check the monitors and Santana's both hands now placed over Brittany's hand, wanting to take her pain away even though she knows she can't.

"Not ever." Her words soft but filled with determination because nothing was going to make her leave Brittany again.

"Hey, B, I'm going to talk to your doctor about your pain management plan. I'm…I'm glad you're with us and I'm so sorry…" She realizes she's crying only when she feels Rachel's arm around her. She's been holding all of it back. The guilt that it had been Brittany who got hit even as she knew that she had probably been the target was eating her inside. But most of all, it is the fear for her friend's well being as well as Rachel that has made her dizzy with worry since the accident.

Quinn suppressed everything so she could at least do her job even if all she could do was talk to the doctors and then provide Santana and Rachel with as much information as possible. But right now, she just feels spent yet she also has one more thing to do and that's what scares her the most.

Rachel has always trusted her. And ever since she made that first promise to Rachel about helping her with her cancer, she's never ever lied to her. She holds Rachel's hand in hers as she leads her outside, giving Santana time of her own.

"She's going to be fine." Rachel nods emphatically as she says the words and all Quinn wants to do is to kiss her worries away. She leans in capturing Rachel's lips and she wants to savor the moment. Only, she's crying again and Rachel pulls back, her face full of concern.

"This is not your fault." Rachel hates to see Quinn cry but she hates it even more when Quinn blames herself for things beyond her control. She loves her wife and accepts all her idiosyncrasies because they made Quinn empathetic and beautiful and unique.

"I…I need you to listen to me. You're going to want to interrupt or say no immediately but I just need you to listen to me first, ok? Promise me." Her voice is still thick with tears but Quinn sounds so serious that she can see Rachel's eyes widen as she shakes her head.

"I love you." It's the third time she's said the words today. But this time, it sounds so final that Rachel picks up on her tone.

"No." Her own voice tinged with anger because she loves Quinn enough to understand that her wife was going to ask something of her that she would never agree to. "We said together, not apart, not separate. Together." She stresses the word, taking both of Quinn's hands in hers. "I'm not letting you go."

"I'm not asking." She can see the exact second the words register because Rachel's face twists and the brunette valiantly tries to stop her tears but they leak out anyway. "I need to stop this and you need to let me." Quinn's words were now so soft that Rachel wishes she could ignore them. Yet, they're also laced with such heavy emotion that they register so clearly.

"I'm going back to the house, do an interview for the local news. See if I can bait him to come for me." She feels Rachel's hands push her back against the wall, the brunette's body pressing hers as she hears Rachel mutter no repeatedly under her breath. Her arms go around Rachel as she tries to step forward even as her wife pushes her back against the wall. Rachel's only thought was to exert as much force as possible because she was just not going to let Quinn leave and her voice gets louder as she says the word no over and over again.

"Rach, sweetheart, Detective Sullivan and Martin will be there the whole time and probably half of the police department. Rachel?" All Quinn feels is the warmth of Rachel's body pressed against hers and the sound of Rachel's voice as it escalates.

"No." She used to think that her love for Quinn precluded all else; and that she would never have to test that because it was just a fact; like the seven colors of the rainbow or Newton's laws of physics. But right now, she needed proof from Quinn. "Either we go together or we're not together anymore."

"What? You can't...you don't..." But Quinn can see that Rachel's completely serious and it makes her choice so easy because she doesn't have one really. "You need to be at a safe distance because he may not come after me if he sees you there. But we'll be there together."

Her eyes flick up and she sees Santana standing at the doorway to Brittany's room. A smirk has graced the face of the Latina as she hears Quinn's words, knowing that Rachel would always be able to rein Quinn in when she just got too stupid to think straight.

#$#$#$#$

The interview had been short but Quinn still managed to say all the key words that Detective Martin had briefed her on. Words meant to incite anger and hopefully cause Nick Halloran to come for her because she was so ready for him.

The house is so quiet that if she didn't know any better, she would think she was all alone. They had made a big show of the interview, tramping in and out and driving away in three vehicles. She wants to say something but knows she still needs to pretend that there is no one else about.

So she sighs only to hear Rachel's beautiful voice singing to her softly through the tiny earpiece in her left ear. It's comforting but more importantly, it makes her realize that Rachel and Santana were right and she had to stop trying to protect Rachel by cutting her out.

Quinn's surprised to hear the doorbell and even more surprised to see Troy standing outside looking extremely agitated.

"Troy, what are you doing here?" She hears Rachel's breath hitch through her earpiece as he pushes past her and she almost stumbles only to catch herself at the last moment. But it's too late, and she turns around and sees him standing there, a gun in his hand. He's not pointing it at her but he's scared and jittery.

"Where's Rachel?"

She hears Rachel's uneven breaths in her ear and is at least grateful that she's not anywhere near the gun or Troy. "You? You sent the pictures? You hit Brittany?" Her voice rises even as her eyes warily focus the gun that he's holding.

"No" His voice is slurred, his subsequent words slow in their release. "I would …never hurt Rachel…it's him…he's after her, I didn't…You have to believe me. I brought this for her. The gun is…" He raises the gun and instantly all hell breaks loose as the door shatters and people stream in shouting. Quinn feels herself being pulled away, shielded by different people as she tries to make sense of Troy's words.

She sees him pushed to the floor, Detective Sullivan trying to wrestle the gun from his hands but it goes off and it's funny that she does not register the sound so much but she immediately sees the blood. It's then that she pushes her way forward, her own safety secondary because her instincts to heal take over. She's on her knees, her hands trying to stem the flow as she shouts at Troy, "Who's after Rachel, dammit! Troy, stay with me."

She can feel him slipping away even as she tries valiantly to keep him alive. Her hands pressing down on his wound as his eyes slip shut. She feels the blood soaking her clothes but she ignores all of it and she keeps asking Troy the same question even though she knows he can't answer her.

"Who's after Rachel?"

**End Part 11**

**  
**


	12. No Air

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel when I know you ain't there  
It's no air no air**_

_**Jordin Sparks**_

When she heard the shot, and for a few seconds could only hear shouts and background noise, Rachel felt her heart literally stutter to a stop. Her entire body had gone completely cold as she held her breath, straining to hear the one thing that would signify that her life was not over.

And it's only when she picks up the sound of Quinn's breathing—the way the blonde would suck in a breath trying to center her mind in order to concentrate on a surgery or her patient—that her heart starts it's rhythmic beating again. It's only then that Rachel pushes past Detective Martin, ignoring her warning, and rushes to the house. They're parked on the other side of the property but Rachel does not care as she runs full speed towards the building, her only thought is to grab hold of Quinn and possibly never let her go if she could help it.

As she stumbles through the house, she sees a sea of blue in front of her; police officers abound, some with vests while others are wearing windbreakers. And then she sees red, coating Quinn's pale arms, her hazel eyes focused on the man she's currently trying to save. But even Rachel can tell that it's too late.

Detective Sullivan is at her side, trying to get Quinn to stop but Rachel knows it's futile. Her wife wouldn't—couldn't give up until she was convinced she had tried everything she could. The oath she took always weighing so heavily on her and the only thing Rachel could do was offer comfort when Quinn would let her.

Her steps are measured now as she walks up to Quinn and picks up her wife's pleas to Troy's prone form. _'Who's after Rachel?'_ even as her hands work feverishly to stem the flow of blood. Rachel's been married to her long enough to know that despite her efforts, Troy was gone. The blood was no longer pumping out of his body, indicating that his heart had stopped.

"Quinn." Saying her name is all it takes as Quinn looks up. She launches herself at Rachel, legs buckling under her when she latches on to the brunette, allowing her wife to support her in all ways.

She does not want to taint Rachel with Troy's blood but she needs to hold her wife. She has to physically touch Rachel and ensure herself that she was there—whole and real, and that no one was going to take her away. She's still shivering, not from the encounter but from the thought that it was still not over. Troy's last words, if he were to be believed made it seem like he had not been the one after Rachel.

Quinn feels Rachel shift, still taking the brunt of her weight and she finally steps back a bit, her hands still holding on tightly to Rachel's shirt. "He…he wanted to see you. He had a gun and he asked for you." Her voices shakes as she recounts opening the door to Troy.

"It's over. It's over and I just want to go home. I want to meet Taylor and I want to wake up in your arms. I just want to go home." Rachel's words wash over her, not taking away all of her fears but soothing her frayed nerves nonetheless.

#$#$#$#$#$

"And its' over, he's dead?" Santana's cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder as one hand hold's on to Brittany's arm while the other traces random patterns on the blanket covering Brittany's leg. She can hear the shock still coating Quinn's words and cannot imagine the fear she have felt when she had been confronted by Troy.

She listens to Quinn's retelling and can hear Rachel chime in every now and again. She can actually picture them in her mind, their hands intertwined, Rachel's chin perched on Quinn's shoulder as Quinn talks into her cell. "How's Rachel?" She surprises herself with the question but it was inevitable that Rachel's well being has become as important to her as Quinn's.

This time she hears the hitch in Quinn's voice and picks up on her uncertainty. "What are you not telling me?" She can hear Rachel's sigh on the other end of the line. "Fabray." It's the way she says Quinn's name, her tone that makes her one of the best interrogators in her department.

"It doesn't feel like it's over."

Santana's not used to hearing Quinn's voice sound so shaky and hesitant. "So go back to New York but keep the bodyguards. At least until you feel that she's safe." She almost smiles when she hears Rachel's huff over the phone followed closely by her own rejoinder, "Until all of us, you and Britt included, feel that we're safe."

She's not completely stunned by Rachel's inclusion and has to take a breath and blink back the sudden tears she feels forming. She cannot understand how she got to be this sentimental and really wants to blame it on the irritating but completely talented diva married to her best friend. "Fine. So we'll see you in a few." She hangs up without saying goodbye and can see Brittany looking at her, understanding that she never liked using the word.

"They're going to be fine." She sees Brittany nod even as her hand tightens around Santana's.

"We're all going to be fine." Brittany sees Santana's eyes slip shut and her jaw clenching before she releases her breath, pushing it through her gritted teeth, not wanting to contradict the blonde's words but not truly believing them either.

"San." Brittany keeps her voice steady but tugs at Santana's hand, urging the Latina to look at her. She needs to say the words that are about to burst out of her, and she wants Santana to believe in them—in her. She knows exactly why Santana was holding back. Brittany literally knows the woman in front of her inside and out. The Latina has always held a special place in her heart since they were kids, even before they knew the meaning of the word 'love.' So when she sees Santana's tense posture with her shoulders bunching, the blonde knows that she was just trying to keep everything inside.

The orthopedic surgeon had come in that afternoon to talk to her about the prognosis. Brittany hadn't been surprised when Santana became belligerent the minute he brought up the fact that he could not guarantee that she would recover fully to the point of dancing professionally again. She had to grab on to Santana's hand to prevent the woman from physically hitting the doctor when he had brought up the pain she needed to endure during her physical therapy.

She didn't look at that as negatively as Santana did but they had always been that way. Santana always thinking the glass was half empty and Brittany always trying to get her to be happy that it wasn't empty.

She pulls Santana forward, raising her own head to meet her halfway. The kiss is a relatively chaste one but was still enough to make her feel a surge of desire. "I'm going to be fine and we're together, so we're going to be fine." Her words were whispered against Santana's skin as their foreheads touch.

"I love to dance." She hears Santana's intake of breath and feels her stiffen, "But I've always, always loved you more." Brittany realizes that she's never said it explicitly, always thinking that Santana knew. It had been obvious to her that the Latina was her life but perhaps saying it was just as important.

But she also knows Santana well enough to not push, "Besides, with all the conditioning Coach Sylvester put us through in High School, physical therapy is going to be a walk in the park." The snort she hears from Santana warms her heart as does the kiss she receives on her nose before the Latina engulfs her in a hug, her head planted firmly in curve where Brittany's neck meets her shoulder.

And it is now that she feels that they are really going to be fine. Not because Santana fully believes her words because she knows that will take time, patience and hours in the bedroom and other various private locations, to prove. But the feeling she gets as the love of her life holds on to her, knowing that when Santana finally lets go, nothing was going to change. Brittany knows that they will come out of all the chaos standing hand in hand. They have this link now between them—invisible but permanent. This unseen force that is beyond words—she knows that it will be impossible to erase because they are meant to be together, finally accepting the inevitable.

#$#$#$#$#

She knows it's only a dream, but it doesn't make the terror she is experiencing any less real. She sees Rachel staring at her from a prone position, mouth open, calling to Quinn. She knows because she sees the brunette's jaw opening and closing, face contorted in absolute fear, reaching for her. But she cannot hear anything over all the white noise or focus on anything else as red blood slowly seeps from the gaping hole in Rachel's abdomen.

Quinn jerks awake, her eyes blinking open, her hand already covering her mouth even as she freezes, not wanting to wake Rachel who is curled up next to her, their legs still entangled. She sucks in air like she's been deprived of it and tries to control her breathing. The vestiges of the dream are still so vivid that she just stares at Rachel's profile, her fingers lightly touching Rachel's hair. The connection finally enough to calm her down.

Quinn had thought being back in New York would make her feel better, like the nightmare of the past month could be completely erased with walks in the Park, lunch at Blossom and Rachel's first meeting with Taylor. And truthfully, the meeting had been magical, both Rachel and Taylor had been taken with each other completely, such that Taylor had held onto Rachel's hand right until she had to leave. Everything seemed back to normal yet she still could not erase that niggling doubt that Troy's words had planted. Rachel had agreed to bodyguards up until last week when they had arm-twisted a harmless fan, nearly breaking his arm. She had pouted the whole day, just staying out of Quinn's reach until the blonde capitulated and agreed that they were no longer required. And things did kind of seem back to normal. Brittany would still call and the only change being they could hear Santana in the background.

But all of it didn't help as her array of nightmares now had another edition of how to lose Rachel. The dream so vivid wherein she's not the one at the house and its Rachel who answers the door to Troy as his gun go off. She bends down and whispers in Rachel's ear, "I'm going to get some water." She's hears Rachel's murmur back. Not fully formed words but a small sound of protest just as she pulls away from their bed and makes her way to the kitchen.

She feels weary and it's not the tiredness borne out of eighteen hour shifts at the hospital **;**  or late nights staying awake waiting for Rachel to finish a shoot **;**  or eating cereal together at three in the morning because they were too tired to cook and Rachel needed her vitamins. Quinn just feels like there's something still unfinished about Rachel's stalker. Detective Martin had seen them off at the airport along with Santana and she had seen the surprise on their faces when she asked them not to close the investigation just yet.

They had listened, Santana even holding her tongue and not rolling her eyes at Quinn's semi frantic plea. In the end, she had to admit that the evidence contrary to what she was saying had been found and could not be disputed. They had found more pictures at Troy's apartment and even a message from Nick Halloran on his phone. His voice was disguised but the message clear enough in its content to show that the only way he had been involved was to steal pictures from their house for Troy and he didn't want any trouble and was going to Mexico because he couldn't afford to get arrested.

Quinn had gone over Troy's words repeatedly, even getting Detective Sullivan to corroborate that he had talked about some other person being involved. However, he had also been high on prescriptive medication at the time and Quinn knows that whatever he had said may have just been him trying to absolve his own guilt. And it made sense that he had finally snapped that night and gone over to Rachel's to put the blame on Nick.

There was still an APB out on the guy and as far as everyone could tell, he had bought a one way ticket to Guadalajara and wasn't planning to return.

Quinn sighs as her head bows and makes contact with the cold steel door of the refrigerator. She pulls back slightly and connects again, only to be startled by Rachel's voice.

"There are easier ways to wake up." There's a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of Rachel's mouth but her eyes are serious as she stares at Quinn whose head is still bowed but at least now turned in her direction. Her large hazel eyes blinking as she just stares at Rachel.

"Did you have another one?" Her voice is softer this time as she opens up her arms to Quinn, grateful that the young doctor has learnt to stop hiding her emotions and is now allowing herself to be comforted.

Quinn does not hesitate as she settles into Rachel's arms, the smaller woman fitting so well beneath her chin, their arms tight around each other, their heartbeats in tandem. "I'm fine." She smiles at Rachel's huff of disagreement at her words but is comforted as she feels Rachel pull her even closer.

"I just…" She exhales on the second word, wondering how she could phrase her words without scaring Rachel. Even though she was the one plagued with nightmares, Rachel hadn't been unscathed by the experience either, jumping at ringing phones. And Quinn had seen her hands shake even when she was opening a box she knew contained copies of her CDs, from Amazon.

They're both not healed yet but definitely not broken either, and spending the past few days with Taylor made them see each other in a totally different light. And Quinn's not sure if it's just her need to think that for whatever good thing that has happened in her life, there's always something bad lurking around the corner to balance it out. Like Rachel's cancer and their coupling or her reconciliation with her dad and Will's untimely death. Or maybe there really was something more to Troy's words than that of a delusional drugged addicted asshole.

"I just feel like it's not fully over." She turns her head, placing a kiss at the side of Rachel's neck, just below her pulse point. A ritual that she does not question because she's healed the brunette before and kissing her there dispels all her fears because Rachel alive, whole and still with that magnificent voice shows that miracles do exists for Quinn Fabray.

Rachel holds firm until she feels Quinn's body meld against hers and the hot imprint of the blonde's lips on her neck. The kiss igniting so many emotions within her, the foremost being that she loves Quinn more than she ever loved herself and because of it, she could never deny Quinn anything.

So instead of repeating what both Santana and Detective Martin has said about the case finally being over, she does not let Quinn go as she starts to sway on her feet and hums softly. The song was recognizable to both of them, and she knows it will relax Quinn further.

She's waiting for that sign when Quinn's stiff spine curves and their bodies fit fully into each other and her breathing evens out and finally, her eyes slide shut. It's only then does she stop her humming and talks to Quinn, her words whispered but still blanketing the blonde, allowing her to feel safe.

"I love you and we'll get through this. And we're going to go to sleep every night and wake up every morning preferably tired from the marathon of sex we've had." the chuckle she elicits from Quinn making her smile, "And one day, we'll wake up and everything will feel normal again."

And Quinn can only nod as she sways with her wife in their kitchen. The promise of Rachel's words resonates within her and perhaps she just needs to look forward and leave the past behind. She has her last surgery on Taylor tomorrow, a small skin graft on her cheek and if all goes well, they could bring her home in three weeks. "We should go back to bed. I have to scrub in at eight for Taylor's last skin graft. Then I'm coming home and we're going for breakfast."

She nuzzles her nose in Rachel's hair, breathing her in, her senses now completely attuned to Rachel. There is no need for further words as she pulls Rachel towards her, the move practiced over time and flawless as Quinn bends, one hand curling around Rachel's shoulder while the other support's the brunette's legs, literally sweeping her off her feet.

Rachel giggles into Quinn's shoulder only stopping when she sees Quinn trying to glare at her.

"I am trying to seduce you, you know." Her mock aggrieved tone not stopping Rachel's fit of giggles. And she gives into it as well, only stopping when they're back in their room and she captures Rachel's lips stopping her laughter, replacing feelings of joy with pure unadulterated ecstasy.

#$#$#$#$

Rachel knows Quinn is not in bed with her even before she's fully awake. Her body feels languid and completely sated but she still feels incomplete because Quinn's not next to her. She glances at the clock and is surprised to see it's after ten. She stretches her five feet two frame, her toes en pointe, as the tip of her fingers touch the top of the head board, her muscles not protesting too much despite last night.

She hears the front door bell ring and knows it's not Quinn because she should still be in surgery. The sound is insistent and she wonders if she can just ignore it. She wants to savor her good mood and does not want it deflated by a Census taker or god forbid, someone offering to save her soul.

She hears the chime again and drags herself off the bed, pulling on Quinn's faded Harvard sweater and her discarded pants before bounding down the stairs. She had thought that coming back to this house would make her feel unsafe but her own words from yesterday ring true and she knows that all they needed was time and eventually things would feel normal again.

Rachel does not take things for granted though as she snags the phone from the table, her fingers poised on the pad before she peers through the peephole, not making a sound just in case.

The breath she is holding expelled when she recognizes the person on the other end of the door. She breaks into a smile as she pulls the door open, hoping that she can finally offer some sort of comfort to Josh as he stands there looking forlorn. She felt bad at the fact that their movie would never be finished but more than that, she hated not being able to say goodbye to Josh when they left LA.

Rachel does not want to waste the chance now as she reaches out to take his rising hand, only she does not see the taser in it, until it's too late and he's pushing her back into the house with such force that she falls backwards.

She's still holding the phone and her fingers fly on the key pad until she feels his arm on her chest pushing her down onto the floor. She tries to scream, her voice erupting until she feels the jolt of fifty thousand volts as Josh presses the taser into her upper shoulder. All her muscles become completely non-compliant as her scream dies in her throat and her consciousness fades. Her last thought solely centered on Quinn, a desperate plea that whatever happens, Quinn would survive this even if she didn't.

Rachel's not sure if she says the word out loud but it's the last thing she thinks of as she slips under.

'Quinn'

**End Part 12**

**  
**


	13. Back To Black

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**And I tread a troubled track**_

_**My odds are stacked, I'll go back to black**_

_**We only said goodbye with words**_

_**I died a hundred times**_

_**Adele**_

It starts as a niggling worry at the back of her mind as she looks at their house from the car's rear view mirror when she pulls away from the curb that morning. Her focus is split partly on the surgery she has before her and that tiny shred of worry that has already to grow its roots in her mind. Quinn knows it's not a difficult procedure but with Taylor being so young, she does not want anything to go wrong and end up disfiguring the little girl.

So Quinn tamps down on the feeling, knowing that the doors are locked and Rachel's still asleep. She smiles as she remembered her wife looking like an angel when the blonde kissed her brow that morning, trying not to make a sound as she left their room.

She reaches out to turn on her stereo, the song that comes on, one of the old ones that she's almost sure she's heard Mr. Schue sing to them year **s**  ago. She didn't like the sentiments it engendered then and can hardly enjoy it now as the lyrics hit too damn close to home.

' _Every single day_

_Every word you say_

_Every game you play_

_Every night you stay_

_I'll be watching you'_

Quinn switches off the radio, Rachel's name on the tip of her tongue as her finger hovers over the phone button on her steering wheel. She's barely left Rachel for ten minutes and already she feels like something's not right. And she hates feeling like this because she knows it affects Rachel as well.

Just because she had some kind of post-traumatic issue with having Troy die in front of her didn't mean that she needed to trouble Rachel with her worries. She needs to believe that things would get back to normal. So instead of calling Rachel or turning the car around, she takes a deep breath and continues her drive to the hospital.

She gets through her rounds without any issue. The bad feeling only coming back in full force after she's gowned and masked and she's scrubbing her fingernails with the wire brush. The sound of water sluicing over her hands normally soothes her and allows her to think about the first incision she needs to make and all the steps that come after that. But right now, that feeling seemed to have vanished completely.

She can't picture anything in her head except for Rachel's face, looking terrified. That image slams into her so fast that she drops the sponge, her hands gripping the side of the sink.

"Dr. Fabray? Is everything alright?"

She hears Julie's voice but like it's from a distance. Because echoing in her head are words that she remembers hearing a couple of years back. Rachel's voice, a hint of merriment attached to each word as she whispered them in her ear, _' So personality trait transference via proximity works'_

But she's always been ruled by science and logic. She's learnt over time to compartmentalize such emotions especially when she has a patient depending on her. So Quinn swallows down her fear, picks up the brush to finish her scrub before she turns to nod at Julie.

Each time she enters the OR, she makes the sign of the cross. It's not obvious to anyone unless you look for it as her hand goes to her chest and her thumb slowly traces a small cross just below her collarbone. It's over in a second and she nods to Julie who switches on her music. The play list pre-selected and actually made by Rachel. It's another way that they keep in each others lives. Each song picked was meant to convey something special to Quinn.

Quinn looks at Taylor as the first song starts and the strain of 'Baby Mine' comes on. It's perfect, and she does not hesitate as she makes that first incision. Her concentration was solely focused on the procedure she has to get through and all the rest of her thoughts relegated to the background until one of Rachel's songs come on.

She feels it then, that cold sense of dread as she thinks of her wife. It's not constant. It ebbs and flows. Although each time it hits her, she feels it so much more strongly. She remembers Rachel talking about that feeling she would get from time to time. It was never anything specific but just something that made her feel that all was not right or that she needed to do something. And Quinn recalls with great clarity waking up from her coma, opening her eyes just as Rachel entered her room.

She never questioned how Rachel just knew to be there and how seeing her there made all the difference in the world to Quinn. She had come to consciousness slowly, her body aching and her mind just trying to piece together so many fractured memories. But the one thing that shone through was this absolute need she felt to open her eyes because she just knew that when she did, everything would make sense.

And it truly had, the second she saw Rachel, her chestnut hair flying around her face, her legs skidding to a stop next to her bed. Everything coalesced in her mind and she just knew that she would always be there for Rachel because even in her comatose state and drugged out of her mind, she had been searching for her.

Likewise, Rachel's sixth sense or latent psychic powers **,**  which Quinn realizes she can actually allude to without rolling her eyes because she believed wholly in her wife, was something she did not question. Rachel Berry was many things, she sang with all her heart and her voice was extraordinary. She was selfish with her time only because she had so little of it to share with Quinn. She was passionate and loyal. And most of all, Rachel Berry was pure love.

And all Quinn can ascertain right now is the feeling of a vise grip on her spine as she tries to fill her lungs with air. The sense of utter dread was flooding her veins like some kind of drug, gripping all her senses such that the only thing she can truly discern is that she needs to see her wife. She needs to actually see Rachel because there was just no other way.

"Julie" Her voice is surprisingly firm even as she takes a step back from Taylor, her scalpel held away from her. The anesthesiologist and assisting nurse looked at her in surprise.

"Dr. Fabray?" Julie does not hide the utter surprise in her voice. In all the years she had been assisting Quinn, she's always known what to expect. Even as a novice surgeon, Quinn always handled herself so professionally, taking everything in stride. This though was unprecedented but she believes in the young doctor so she does not voice her confusion, instead, she waits for Quinn to tell her what she needs.

"I need you to get Dr. Wilkes. He should be doing his rounds. I…I need you to bring him here to take over this surgery right now." She can see Julie wanting to ask more questions and even Dr. Wong stands up from her seat by the monitors. "Julie, just go. Dr. Wong, I trust the patient...Taylor will still be under while we wait for Dr. Wilkes?"

The anesthesiologist nods, her eyes questioning but Quinn knows she needs to remain a professional within her operating theatre. Every fiber of her being is telling her to run but she takes a deep breath, checks the skin graft on Taylor, ensuring that the blood supply underneath the new skin is unblocked.

She can't help her audible sigh of relief when she sees Dr. Adam Wilkes start his scrubbing in ritual and Julie helping him along. It takes her another ten minutes to explain the exact place where she had stopped and what he needs to do. She sees everyone looking at her. The blonde knows she does owe them an explanation, not an excuse but a good reason why she would abandon a surgery especially on someone as important to her as Taylor.

"I'm…I'm sorry. I don't think I can finish up here because I..I need to see my wife" She sounds unsure for the first time since she started the surgery but the certainty that she has to leave is so strong that she takes off in a run as soon as she sees Dr. Wilkes nod his head even if he cannot understand her motivation.

She does not stop as she tears off her and mask. The only impetus she feels is to run towards her office to get her keys. She forgoes waiting for the elevator and takes the stairs instead in order to get her car. Quinn drives as fast as she can, weaving in and out of traffic, her finger hovering on the call button but she knows she does not want to call Rachel just in case.

Believing in something didn't make it real. And she does not want to break the fragile hope they had built last night. Quinn realizes that this could all be in her head, her own fears and stress getting the better of her and she had no right to scare Rachel. So she does not call, instead she prays that it really is just her and nothing has happened to the love of her life. All she needs to do right now was to see Rachel in the flesh.

#$#$#$#$

Josh never wanted to hurt Rachel. He had loved her for so long that he abhorred even thinking about anything untoward happening to her. Except that she continued to ignore the chances he had given her. She never acknowledged what he had done for her, not once. He had specifically written a role for Rachel, ensuring that her star would always shine bright.

He even endured her relationship with Troy, always hoping that she would see that there was only one person she was meant to be with; patiently waiting in the wings for her to notice him. And every little thing Rachel did, every look, every word she uttered showed that she did love him even if she never overtly showed it.

Even when Rachel had cancer, she had always been on his mind but he kept it all inside. He knows now that that was his mistake. Because he hadn't come to her, offered himself as her savior, she had turned to that woman, that doctor.

But he could never get angry with Rachel, seeing her happy, smiling, and alive meant that he would eventually have a chance to be with her. He just knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Rachel Berry belonged to him.

Only, when he finally gave her the chance to acknowledge him, to accept what he was offering to her, she had rejected everything he had worked so hard for. Rachel left him without a word, not even saying goodbye. The pictures of her at the airport, hand held firmly in someone else's and not his, that smile directed at that woman and not him. All of it became too much to accept.

So Josh knew what exactly he needed to do. If Rachel truly couldn't see that he was the only one she was meant to be with, then maybe, she didn't deserve him after all. And that maybe, he just needed to get rid of her, once and for all.

He's standing over her, not exactly sure what he wants to do next. He sees her eyes are closed and she looks almost angelic, her brown hair spread on the floor. But she's just not the person he thought she was. He knows Rachel went to Julliard but the Harvard sweatshirt she's wearing just proves that she's not his any longer.

He lets his anger flow as his hands fisted at his side. Josh had wanted this over quickly. But looking down at her, wearing clothes that he knows belong to THAT woman, it makes him angry and he wants Rachel to suffer like he has.

All those years of waiting patiently by the sidelines expecting that eventually she would see him was for naught. He bends down grabs a fistful of her hair and pulls her by it, smiling when he hears her groan in pain. Getting bolder, he lashes out with his left leg catching her in her side such that she convulses even in her semi unconscious state.

The sound she makes is actually spurring him on even more than the joy he use to get by just watching her. He drags her towards the back of the house. His familiarity with it would surprise her. He had thought they were friends but she never invited him there. His only entry granted was by Nick. Poor stupid Nick who thought he could help his career by betraying Rachel Berry.

He's so caught up in his thoughts that he does not hear anything until he's unexpectedly tackled. Strong hands going around his waist, pushing him forward. His legs suddenly losing their footing and his body crashes into the wall.

#$#$#$#$#

Quinn spent two and a half years of her life on the sidelines of every single football game the McKinley Titans ever played. Cheering through rain and sleet and once with a fractured elbow because Coach Sylvester told her to push through the pain as only losers gave up. She's seen Karofsky sack a guy twice his width. She had been privy to the play by play after, when Puck would regale her on the finer points of a football tackle while he played his Xbox.

Those were things that Quinn knew she could forget as soon as she heard them because she never thought knowing any of it would come in handy. But it's only when she had seen the door to their house ajar, the same second she noticed Rachel's limp body, that every seemingly vague football play came rushing back at her. And at that very moment everything else didn't seem to matter. She just had one singular thought that superseded everything else.

She does not think about her oath to respect all human life. She does not think about her own safety. She does not even think about what she can actually accomplish in the situation. Her entire focus is reduced to seeing Rachel's body being dragged away and knowing she just needed to do something.

She does not even consider that maybe Rachel is hurt or worse, beyond hurt. It's something that she knows will cause her to shut down if it were the case. So in her mind, she prays that Rachel is still with her and all she needs to do is to stop this once and for all, regardless of her own safety. She needed to stop the man from taking away her one reason to exist.

Quinn barrels through the door, her body low as she tackles the man dragging Rachel away. She only recognizes Josh at the last second when her arms wrap around his middle and her momentum pushes him into the wall, her body colliding with his. And the only thing that keeps her conscious and centered on the task is the fact that she hears Rachel moan.

She feels Josh's elbow connect with her jaw. The pain is blinding and she blacks out for a few seconds only to come to and barely avoid his fist as it comes crashing down, just glancing off her temple, his ring cutting her skin at the side of her head.

She kicks out, one foot hitting him in the kidneys and is rewarded when she hears him curse in pain even as she tries to scramble back. But he reaches out and grabs her foot, twisting wildly and turning her on her front such that she finally faces Rachel's still form.

She can almost touch Rachel, her hand reaching out only to feel Josh's full weight come down on her, one knee digging into the small of her back while his hands tighten around her neck, his finger squeezing.

It hurts and Quinn can feel him squeezing so tight that her eyes almost bulge out. But then she sees Rachel's eyelids flutter. The tiniest of movements that she would have missed if she had blinked but it's enough to spur her on. Gritting her teeth against the pain, she realizes Coach Sylvester would have scoffed at her initial feeble attempts to attack Josh.

Quinn braces her hands on the floor and pushes her body up, toppling Josh again into the wall but she does not stop there. She flips over, pushing herself forward, her thumb aiming for his eye. And she's rewarded when he screams expletives at her, his hand tries to grab hers but she persists and only stops when he manages to push her violently away. Her hip connects with a side table, the vase of flowers crashing to the ground sending splinters of glass everywhere.

Josh does not give up despite his bloody eye as he staggers forward again and Quinn realizes that he's crazy, the embodiment of the psychological definition. She keeps her body down and barrels into him again, the both of them falling onto the glass shards, pieces embedding in their skin, drawing blood.

Quinn feels him struggling beneath her as his hands hit out catching her on the face and shoulder. However, her hands are steady. Even cut and scratched, they do not shake as she goes for his neck. Knowing exactly what to do, her fingers press down on his carotid artery, stopping the flow of blood.

Josh's last blow again connecting to her jaw but there is not much strength behind it as he finally loses consciousness. Only Quinn does not stop the pressure as she continues to press down knowing that she could kill him. It would go against everything she worked for, her oath, her promise to make a difference, to do the right thing.

But he had hurt Rachel and Brittany and she's not sure she can stop until she hears the softest of sounds.

_'Quinn'_

She relaxes her fingers and finally let's go, almost collapsing until she stops herself, her hands splayed on the ground as she finally glances at Rachel. Her breathing is ragged and she can feel tears coursing down her face, her body aching from the fight although it does not hurt as much as still not knowing if Rachel is actually ok.

She can see the rise and fall of her chest. But it's only when her gaze locks onto dark chocolate eyes blinking open and shut, each movement in time with her own beating heart that she cries out loud. Her voice is hoarse and strangled but the name so recognizable.

"Rachel."

**End Part 13**


	14. Somewhere Only We Know

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Oh simple thing, where have you gone?**_

_**I'm getting old and I need something to rely on**_

_**So tell me when you're gonna let me in**_

_**I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.**_

_**And if you have a minute, why don't we go**_

_**Talk about it somewhere only we know?**_

_**This could be the end of everything**_

_**So why don't we go somewhere only we know?**_

_**Somewhere only we know**_

_**Keane**_

Rachel hasn't let go of Quinn's hand since she had reached out to grasp it in the foyer of their house hours ago. She remembers coming to slowly, her senses all not really connected to each other such that she hears the sounds of a fight but more than that, she could hear the sound of Quinn in physical pain. It's the only impetus she needs to push herself beyond her physical limitations.

So that made her struggle even more to rouse herself as she forced her body to respond, ignoring the throbbing ache on her side and head because she needs to see her wife. So she pushes through the fog and tried to open her eyes. Her eyelids seemed to be fused so tightly shut. But the last strangled sound and ragged breath that she knows came from the woman she loves finally pushes her. Rachel's eyes blinked open and she heard Quinn's voice calling her name.

There's blood on Quinn's temple and her expression is stricken as her eyes meet Rachel's. And it's only when Rachel slowly extends her hand, shaking with the effort but pushing herself nonetheless. And it's only when she finally is able to touch her wife, does she let herself cry.

#$#$#$#$

"Ms Berry? I need to clean Dr. Fabray's…" The paramedic trails off as he indicates the cuts on Quinn's hands and when she does not respond, he tugs at her arm. But Rachel's hand is clamped so tight onto Quinn's that she knows she may actually be hurting her. But she just can't seem to let go and Quinn doesn't seem to want her too either.

However, she can see that there are still so many wounds on Quinn and she's still bleeding so Rachel takes a deep breath before loosening her fingers. But her hand is still placed on top of Quinn's as the paramedic re-positions himself and focuses on cleaning up the numerous cuts on Quinn's right arm.

"Are you…" Quinn's voice is still rough and it hurts to talk for the doctor. But that's not been the reason she's been so reticent and allowed Rachel to make calls to the police and paramedics. Besides, she even stayed stoically silent when Rachel called Santana, shaking her head when Rachel offered her the phone.

The truth is, she couldn't bring herself to speak because she was so afraid of what might actually come out. She had truly wanted to end Josh's life. It was such a visceral want that still lurked within her thoughts. He had tried to take Rachel away and she could just not let that happen again.

Quinn knows she's always been task oriented, working out her goals and doing her best to achieve them. Keeping Rachel safe had been something she accepted as part of her life. As her doctor and wife, all she knew was that Rachel's well being was paramount to her own happiness.

But to be confronted with the dichotomy of her oath and her want was a bracing moment for her. It truly shook her inside as she felt she had drifted so far away from who she thought she really was. And the only link right now, the one that holds her in place, is that lone physical connection to Rachel.

"Are you ok?" She finally gets her question out although she cannot meet Rachel's eye. Instead, she stares at the hands of the paramedic as he cleans the three-inch cut near her elbow. She focuses on the drop of blood oozing out and wonders if she'll ever feel anything besides the weight of Rachel's hand on hers.

Rachel fingers tighten slightly in response as she tries to catch Quinn's eye. The set of her jaw and the way she's holding herself, not to mention all the scrapes and bruises marring her skin makes Rachel's heart ache. More than that, Rachel inherently realizes that Quinn's fighting her internal demons, guilt and her moral compass at odds with what happened today.

"You saved me." Her voice is so soft but she still sees the blonde flinch. Rachel can't help but cry at the sight of her wife suffering over the battle raging on inside her. Tears pooled at the corner of the brunette's eyes but she does not wipe them away because both of her hands now cover Quinn's. Not a healing touch by any means but at least she hopes that it brings comfort to Quinn.

"You knew to come back. You saved me from Josh." And it's then that Quinn finally meets her eyes and Rachel can discern so much by looking at those expressive hazel eyes. Rachel literally feels her heart shatter as she realizes that Quinn's only keeping herself together for her sake and that she's hurting so much inside.

"Let me…let me save you." She pulls her wife into her embrace. Putting pressure into the hug, wanting Quinn to feel her there, to know that she can let whatever she's holding back, out. She feels Quinn's stiff posture as her arms encircle her waist.

Rachel can sense that Quinn's going to break and she just prays that she's going to be strong enough and able to find all the pieces. Because what Quinn had done for her meant that she had gone beyond her moral compass. She was loss and Rachel had to ensure that she made it back.

She wishes for Quinn to forget everything even though she knows that that hope is an impossibility. There are police officers around and the paramedic is still trying to treat Quinn. But for once, Rachel tells him to give them a bit of time. The small woman can't help feeling fear that Quinn's external injuries pale in comparison to what she's going through inside her head.)

She feels Quinn's head settle on her shoulder as she whispers in her ear, "I love you Quinn. All of you and I don't care if you think that you didn't do the right thing or that you feel that you've failed in some way. You're my everything and knowing you came back for me, you saved me. Just please come back to me now."

It's the cadence of her voice that resonates within Quinn. She starts to feel the ache on her jaw and the sting of the cut on her forehead. The extraneous noise becomes louder in her ears and everything becomes bright and harsh. Only Rachel's soft words keep her grounded but at least she's not as disconnected as before.

"He…he was ..going to…I needed to stop him..I..thought.. you were…" Her words are coming out disjointed as she recalls the sheer terror that gripped her. Her voice rises with each word and stumbles on the last one as her tears finally break free and she curls her body around Rachel's, her knees almost buckling. But she can feel Rachel's strong arms around her and knows that right now, she can let go with the knowledge that her wife is there, alive and whole and ready to shelter her.

#$#$#$#$

"My flight lands at two." She can hear the tenseness in Santana's voice and wants to tell her to stay in LA and just be with Brittany. Only, Rachel realizes she just can't do this alone. She cradles the phone between her shoulder and ear as her hand holds Taylor's.

"I…thank you. I know Brittany's still undergoing therapy and I didn't want to..." She takes a deep breath, trying to center her chaotic thoughts and is thankful for Santana's familiar acerbic tone.

"Don't get all emotional on me Berry, it's not like you're at the North Pole. It's a six-hour flight. You need legal services and what do you know, I'm a lawyer. And…" Santana trails off.

Rachel can picture her pinching the bridge of her nose and rolling her eyes as she tries to get the words out.

"And you and Quinn are important to Brittany...to us."

Rachel smiles at the words as she sees the little girl is listening intently to her end of the phone call. She's been trying so hard to modulate her voice, to strip it of every scared and worried sentiment that seems to coat her every word. She even went so far as to maintain a smile as soon as she came to Taylor's room to appear normal. It's then that the door opens and she sees Quinn standing there, her white coat on, her hair in a ponytail, that she wishes it really was normal.

"Thanks. I'll pick you up at the airport. Bye." Rachel does not break eye contact with Quinn even as every fiber of her being pushes her to do something. But she holds herself back and waits for Quinn to make the first move.

Quinn had braced herself to expect to see Rachel in Taylor's room. In fact she would have bet good money that Rachel had been there most of the night as well and had probably peered in on her too. Her wife was nothing if not persistent and even though Quinn loved her for that trait along with everything else that made Rachel her Rachel, she just does not want to have another argument right now, especially with Taylor there.

"Hey, sweetheart, I just need to check your dressing." She sees Taylor's hand in Rachel's and how everything just fits. But in her mind, things are as far from fitting as one could get. She smiles at Taylor as her hands deftly check the bandages at the little girl's chest and legs, finally moving to the side of the bed to check on the skin graft on her cheek.

She feels Rachel next to her and almost reaches out to touch her hand. The pull is always there, ever present and so much more intense when she hears Rachel's voice.

"We're having lunch in here today. Aren't we Taylor?" Rachel nods at the little girl and is so happy to see her smile back. She turns to look up at Quinn, "Why don't you join us?"

"I can't." Her voice is flat, devoid of emotion and she closes her eyes because she does not want to see the shimmer of tears in Rachel's brown eyes.

_"I can't." Quinn can't even look at Rachel as she says the words. So she walks towards the door, hoping that the cold air will give her the clarity she needs to get through another night. She makes it all the way to the door, her hand on its handle before she hears her wife._

_"Can't or won't? Because it's two different things Quinn and I need to know which is which." She cannot in any way fully comprehend what Quinn is going through or what she's feeling. The fact that Quinn actually went back to work two days after the incident gave her some indication that things would still not be right and she should expect something._

_But never in a million years did she expect Quinn to change her mind about adopting Taylor. Quinn was the one who had initiated the adoption, even pushing her when she felt the inertia of uncertainty take hold of her making her reluctant to consider adoption. Even then, Quinn had been so certain._

_"What's changed?" Rachel's words are meant to provoke and they do as Quinn twirls around to face her and Rachel holds her breath hoping that this time, Quinn will break and she's there, ready to build her back up, stronger for it. They survived cancer and a coma and this was just something else that they needed to work through together. There's a strict certainty to her thinking and she knows that it will work out if Quinn would just let her in._

_Quinn feels her heart rate pick up and shortness of breath, signs of a panic attack in the making and it scares her that she's still so close to the edge, hanging on by the thinnest of threads. She clamps her eyes shut, clenching her teeth in the process. Her last breath still stuck in her throat as she counts from a hundred backwards. Opening her eyes when she gets to ninety-two and feels less like she's about to shatter._

_"Everything." The whispered word falls from her lips and she wants so badly to take it back but she can't because it's true. She can barely do her job much less look after a child, definitely not after she tried to kill someone. And she just cannot understand how Rachel can't see that. But to be honest, she does not want to show Rachel that side of her, to taint her wife with that knowledge that she was capable of something like that._

_She pulls open the door and rushes out, ignoring Rachel's plea for her to stay, trying to outrun that suffocating feeling even though she knows she's carrying it with her._

"Well, we're umm having..." Rachel has to blink back her tears because Taylor's looking at her and she promised herself that she wouldn't cry. "We're having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chocolate milk?" She looks at the little girl who nods shyly.

"Taylor do you want to show Dr. Q what you've drawn?" Rachel had been spending all her time at the hospital when she's not shadowing Quinn. It's been taxing but she just feels the impetus to do something and move on with her life. Josh had been arraigned and with so much hard evidence, he was going away for a very long time.

Santana had wanted to fly out the minute she called the night of the incident. But Rachel just knew it was over. Quinn had saved her and she had naively thought that things could finally get back to normal. But the last week had proven otherwise.

Quinn had cried in her arms most of the night and then like a switch had been flicked, she just shut down, no further show of emotions. She had finally got all her cuts attended to, took two days leave where she barely spoke a word. And only on the night before she went back to the hospital did she tell Rachel that she didn't want to adopt Taylor any more.

Rachel had stood there, dumbstruck, struggling with trying to understand just what had happened. Not wanting to push Quinn and just hoping that she just needed time. But a week had gone by and each time she brought Taylor up, Quinn would leave such that she hadn't been home in two days since she ran out of their house.

The drawing was mostly her holding Taylor's hand but the girl had still managed to draw a facsimile of a family. Two stick women, one blond, and one brunette with a little stick girl in between. There's a telltale tearstain on the left hand corner and she wants so badly for Quinn to see it.

"Here." She holds out the paper to Quinn, praying for some sign that her wife, the one who fought for her, who put her career on the line and who came back from a coma, the one who promised to love and cherish her forever, through any adversity, that woman whom she loved, was still there.

"Please, Quinn, I …Please just have lunch with us." She sees Quinn take the drawing. Her heart swells only to feel it splinter when she turns and leaves the room without another word.

#$#$#$#$

"I'm going to kick her ass. You know that, right?" Santana knows some of what had transpired. The call she took from Rachel had been harrowing for her. To hear the fear in the brunette's voice was one thing but to realize that she had nearly lost both Rachel and Quinn made her hold on to Brittany the whole night, not sleeping or moving, just needing to know that her love was there next to her.

She wants a reaction from Rachel. Seeing the brunette standing by the gate, looking lost and so very small brought out the fierce protective instinct in her. She's surprised with its ferocity but at the same time, it highlights that she needs to do something.

"Quinn saved my life. She stopped Josh….even when he was hitting her, even when glass was cutting into her hands and her body, she never gave up until he stopped." There's anguish in her voice because she wants to take that experience away from Quinn but she knows she can't.

"And now she's just stopped." It's the only way she can describe it. Quinn still went about her day, she still kissed Rachel, touched her and talked to her but she just wasn't her Quinn.

"When's the custody hearing?" It's the other reason she wants to come. She had seen the way Quinn had looked when she described Taylor. How much she felt connected to the little girl and Santana knew that there was no way the doctor would forgive herself for letting Taylor go into the foster system just because she was too caught up in her head.

"It's day after tomorrow." Rachel knows that it's already a small miracle that both Quinn and her got this far. They were a loving married couple but still unconventional by any standards and she does not want to jeopardize their chances further with Quinn either not showing up or refusing to go through with the hearing.

"So we have a day to convince her or we go to my initial plan of kicking her ass." There's a small smile tugging at Rachel's lips even if her eyes are luminous because of the tears and Santana takes that as a good sign. Quinn Fabray was always too stubborn for her own good and maybe she would be more than a match for Rachel or for her alone.

But Santana always thought that both of them together could have made one scary ass hell of a team in high school, She would never admit it but the portmanteau of Pezberry always sounded way cooler than Finchel. And even though she would have never guessed in a million years then that Faberry would be endgame, it definitely sounded better than Finchel as well.

"Thanks." Rachel soft voice highlights that she really does need help and support. So instead of another snarky remark, Santana just holds on to Rachel's hand.

**End Part 14**


	15. Get It Right

**Wisdom, Power, Fame & Love**

_**Can I start again with my faith shaken?**_

_**'Cause I can't go back and undo this**_

_**I just have to stay and face my mistakes**_

_**But if I get stronger and wiser**_

_**I'll get through this**_

_**Rachel Berry**_

Quinn pushes the plate of pasta away from her, only a quarter finished, but she already feels like throwing up. The cafeteria is thankfully almost empty and she can try and compose herself before her evening rounds. Her focus is simple and has never wavered. She needs to save lives, to do the best she can and to heal. Only now, when she looks down at her hands, she knows that she also harbors within her the ability to hurt, to take life away and not preserve it.

"I'm not going to send you home." His words cut across her thoughts and she almost jerks back but catches herself although Alex noticed all of it, from the tightness of her shoulders to the wary look in her eye.

His dad had served in Vietnam. The Medical corps was part of his blood even if he didn't step up. It was difficult too when he saw the way his father had been affected. The way his family had to accept that despite their love and support, he had lost a part of himself in the war and whatever they did, it wouldn't be enough. Even at that young age, he knew that his dad needed help, someone to talk to, someone he could open up to but never being able to articulate that resulted in a fractured family life.

"But I'm also not going to let you go through whatever you're going through alone. So you have two choices." He sits across from Quinn, his hand reaching out to take hers. Only, she pulls back and Alex hopes that it's not too late to help her. "You need to talk to someone. It can be me or Rachel. Or I'm just going to mandate you have sessions with the Hospital psychologist."

She looks him straight in the eye and all he can see is her struggling to keep so many things at bay. There's stillness to her but beneath that, he knows she's just holding everything back and sooner or later, it was bound to leak out. With his dad, it had been with a gun in their garage when he had been seventeen.

He was just not going to let that happen to Quinn. He sees her look down at her hands like she cannot comprehend anything. And worse, he sees them tremble and she curls them into fists. It's then that he reaches out again. "My dad killed himself because he just could not let it out any other way. I'll be damned if I just…Talk to someone. Please. I can't afford to lose you too."

She's only ever heard him speak with so much passion when he talked about his patients. To hear him talk about her with that same emotion jolts her out of her own miasma of guilt if only for a second. But she really does feel lost and nothing he can say will change that. But because she does love and respect him too, she knows she will try.

Alex stands up and straightens his coat, hoping to hear something from Quinn and is at least relieved when she looks at him, "Ok."

#$#$#$#$

"This little piggy went to Prada, this little piggy stayed at the W, this little…" Santana trails off, very self-conscious the second she realized Quinn had entered the room. She had just sent Rachel to get some coffee and take some time to pull herself together. She knows that the brunette was probably going to try and see what Quinn was doing. And when she couldn't find her, she would make her way back to Taylor's room.

"Your wife went looking for you." She can see the dark circles around Quinn's eyes and that look that signifies so clearly that she's in pain. But her friend had always been so good at hiding the hurt, overlaying it with a shadow of indifference and just ignoring it altogether. The Latina is almost sure that right now, Quinn's just acclimatized to feeling like she is about to crack.

She hadn't thought about talking to Rachel, except, she had walked straight to Taylor's room after leaving the cafeteria. Her mind was wandering over her to-do list in her head, the two back to back surgeries and the lab work she was expecting. But apparently, her heart had been guiding her all along as she made her way to Taylor's room.

She locks eyes with Santana and can see all the unasked questions her oldest friend is holding back. But Quinn does not know what to say as she again looks down at her hands. Their ability to heal now superseded by the knowledge that she had that instinct to hurt as well.

"You protected Rachel. There's nothing wrong with that." Santana keeps her voice low, cognizant that Taylor's in the room with them and Quinn has that look on her face that meant one wrong word and she was just going to bolt.

"When Brittany got hit." She can't believe she got that sentence out whole without stumbling on any one word. "I made a promise to myself that I was going to take care of the person who did it so that nothing would happen to Brit or Rachel or you." Santana cannot say it any more clearly than that and she waits for Quinn to understand her full confession because that is what she was trying to convey.

She knows it's not an easy burden to carry, the ability to fight and knowing that it could mean ending someone's life. It wasn't even something a normal person would contemplate in their everyday life. But sometimes, life wasn't fair and sometimes people were meant to carry burdens that went beyond their capabilities. And when that occurred, having someone who loved you, having that person who would gladly share that burden becomes imperative.

"I wished I had been there." Santana does not need to elaborate because the implicit understanding is there. She would have done exactly what Quinn had been forced to do. And by the look and set of her jaw and the way she's staring at Quinn unblinking, the blonde realizes that Santana would not have stopped.

Quinn wants so much to believe in that beautiful lie because it would go such a long way to absolve her of that suffocating guilt that she feels. It's then that she can sense that Rachel is behind her, just an innate sense she always gets when Rachel is around. Her arms come around Quinn's waist and the feel of them is so familiar and she misses that touch, having not seen her wife for two days.

It seemed like an eternity and for a split second she wonders why she stayed away especially when she derives so much comfort from that small gesture. But every single memory attached to that day is still swimming around in her head.

Quinn wills herself to take a step forward, needing to deny herself the comfort of Rachel's touch. But she's fighting a losing battle as she sinks backwards, her knees buckling as every single emotion she's held at bay comes rushing through her. The doctor shakes uncontrollably and tries to swallow her cries, biting down on her fist as she shakes her head, trying to keep her avalanche of emotions at bay.

Rachel knows her wife well enough to read all the signs. She tightens her hold on Quinn, pulling her backwards and out of the room before she broke in front of Taylor. Despite wanting this to happen, Rachel feels an acute sense of panic because she's not sure if she can really help Quinn. She's willing to try, to put everything on the line even if she's terrified that in the end, she'll fail.

Thankfully the room next door is unoccupied as Rachel and Quinn stumble into the room, both of them going down on their knees but Rachel still does not let go of her wife. Quinn is shaking so badly that her teeth are actually clattering together.

"I've got you. I'm here. I'm always going to be here." She whispers the words in Quinn's ear, repeating them like a mantra as Quinn's breathing evens out. "I love you, I'm here." She murmurs them in Quinn's hair, kissing her temple each time she says a word.

"I'm scared." The two words are so softly spoken but Rachel's been waiting so long for Quinn to say something, anything, that the second she does, they register almost immediately.

"I know" She feels Quinn's body shudder , "but you can't shut me out. I won't let you." Each word spoken so clearly such that their meaning cannot be ignored even in Quinn's fugue state.

"I wanted too…" Quinn hands blindly reach out, finally settling on Rachel's arms that are still encircling her waist. She's so thankful that the brunette is behind her and she won't be able to see the disgust and fear on her face when she finally makes her confession.

"I didn't want to stop. I wanted to kill him." Her voice is heavy with guilt. "I knew I should stop, my fingers were too tight and he had already passed out but he hurt you." Her voice stumbles over the last word.

Quinn expects Rachel's hands to withdraw and her wife to recoil at the thought of her admitting to wanting to kill someone. But Rachel's arms are still around her waist and she feels her breath across the back of her neck. She continues because she knows she owes Rachel the truth and any consequence was acceptable as long as she knew that the love of her life was alive and well.

"I didn't want to stop. I knew I should but I didn't. Not until I heard you call my name. Not until you stopped me. God, Rach, I wanted to kill Josh and you stopped me" Quinn's almost hyperventilating as she tries to get all the words out.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry." she repeats the word, trying to find absolution even if she knows that it's not really Rachel's to give. She overstepped and there really was no coming back no matter how much she wanted and hoped to.

It's only then that she finally wrenches her body free of Rachel's embrace. No longer sheltered by the knowledge that no matter what, their love would survive anything. Because this time she had truly gone too far and there was no way back.

Quinn is so afraid to see her wife's expression. She's used to seeing Rachel's face suffused with love such that any other look would decimate her. But she turns around nonetheless, knowing that she needs to face this now.

"I'm sorry." Quinn's apologizing for not being strong enough for Rachel, for not being able to be there for her now and for just failing to live up to what Rachel deserved. Only, she can see her wife shaking her head at her words even as tears stream down her face.

"I…I didn't…" Rachel stutters out as she tries to make sense of Quinn's words. The incident is still vivid in her mind. The pain she experienced and the terror that gripped all her senses because of the thought of Quinn getting hurt, all of it comes down to the forefront and she suddenly realizes that she didn't stop Quinn. "I didn't call your name."

Rachel sees Quinn's eyes widen at her words. "I heard you in pain, the sounds of a fight, your struggle but I couldn't move." It had been more frightening than seeing Josh loom over her with his stun gun. Just knowing Quinn was getting hurt because she was trying to stop Josh while she could not even open her eyes had been one of the worst moments of her life.

"I couldn't even whisper. All I could do was to listen." Rachel prays that Quinn is listening now. "You stopped on your own. You were protecting me, fighting for your life and if he had gotten the upper hand, he wouldn't have stopped. But you did. I didn't call out to you but you stopped."

Quinn could swear she had heard Rachel call her name. It was the one thing that shone through so clearly that day, the sound of Rachel's voice that made her realize she had so many things in her life that she could just not throw away with that one act. Ending Josh's life meant giving up her own and hearing Rachel's voice made all the difference to her.

But if what Rachel was saying was true, that in the end, she knew wrong from right and even incensed beyond all measure, she could not kill Josh. It meant that Rachel had been her conscience, both literally and figuratively. She had been there and Quinn had saved her but she had saved Quinn too. It was a revelation to know that Rachel was always with her.

She's been denying Rachel's touch for two days but not any longer as she scrambles forward, her arms pulling Rachel's body to hers and she finally breaks. But it's not fragmented pieces of herself, just that hard shell exterior that she's so used to wearing every time things got rough. The one meant to protect and to distance herself so that she could regroup and try and move on. However, Rachel had always managed to burrow herself into Quinn's heart and remain there always.

"We saved each other."

#$#$#$#$#$#$

Rachel is dressed in her most conservative suit but she still feels that it's not good enough as she tugs at the skirt wishing it were an inch or two longer.

"It's not going to un-hem itself, you know." Santana smirks at the brunette fidgeting before her.

"It's too short isn't it, I knew it." Rachel roots round in her purse, her hands trying to find her small nail scissors only to be stilled when she feels Santana's hand on her forearm.

"Relax. You're not going to be judged by your fashion sense. The judge just wants to hear from you and Quinn on how serious you are about adopting Taylor. What plans you have for her well-being, the rehabilitation therapy she needs and the home life you're planning to give her." Santana knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that both Rachel and Quinn were going to make exceptional parents. They loved unconditionally and any child would be lucky to have them as parents.

She'll never admit it out loud but they're her beacon of sorts. Their relationship gave her hope for her own. She knows she loves Brittany and could never ever not love her. But even with that love always there, she had still managed to ignore it for so many years. However, seeing Rachel and Quinn overcome everything just because they had each other and to know that despite heartache and pain and sorrow their love would always guide each other home. It made her certain that she could build that kind of relationship with Brittany. If it weren't for Rachel and Quinn, she wouldn't have realized what she had been denying herself and for that she would be forever grateful.

"There's no way the judge is not going to grant custody." Her voice goes soft as she squeezes Rachel's hand.

"Unless Quinn doesn't show." Rachel used to be afraid of Santana. Not the fear she carried in high school but one borne out of knowing that the Latina was Quinn's oldest friend and neither time nor distance would change that which meant that the Latina would always know Quinn in a way that Rachel could not. Right now though, she sees Santana's eyes blaze but knows the anger is not directed at her. They had never been friends back then but at this moment, Rachel knows that Santana is there for her and would do anything she could to help her.

"What did she say?" Santana glances at her watch, wondering if she has time to go and find the doctor, praying that she hadn't changed her mind. She swore that things were looking up especially when Quinn and Rachel had finally come back to Taylor's room.

_"You ok? The question surprising Rachel because it's directed at her and not to Quinn. Santana's eyes hooded and her posture almost protective of Taylor._

_"We're going to be fine." Her hand is firmly entrenched in Quinn's and her words are said with such certainty although they are still tinged with hope._

_"How is she?" Quinn's voice is tentative because physically, she knows Taylor is getting better although there was still a lot more healing to be done. However, even if she was only two, Quinn knows that her behavior over the past week had been less than stellar. Each time she entered Taylor's room, she had been her professional doctor self and not the woman who wanted so badly to adopt the little girl. But Rachel had been there to pick up her slack and even now, she sees Taylor light up when Rachel smiles at her._

_"She's a fighter. Aren't you sweetheart?" Santana does not feel the least bit self-conscious as she ruffles Taylor's hair. "Kind of like Berry but way less annoying." She still can't help herself though as she winks at Quinn._

_"Thanks, S." their relationship was always difficult to explain or describe but it worked and Quinn knows that she'll forever be grateful to have the Latina in her life. The blonde knows that she would try her best to pay her back for everything she had done for her and Rachel._

Rachel believes in her wife. It's an intrinsic belief borne out of experience and love. Quinn Fabray had never let her down when it mattered. She had saved her voice and her life and she had come back to her because she had promised to. And Rachel wants to believe in her now. "She wanted to go to the hospital first. She said she needed to talk to Alex."

"She's going to show." This time, her words are more confident and she lets out the breath she has been holding when she sees Santana nod in concurrence.

"Berry/Fabray adoption hearing is next. Please get ready."

Rachel's eyes widen when she hears the announcement. "Can you stall?"

Santana goes over the procedure in her head, wondering what exactly she could say to stop it without ruining their chances to adopt Taylor. She didn't want to highlight Quinn's traumatic experience or the fact that Rachel had been the target of a stalker. The tabloids already had a field day with the story and she had to prep Rachel for the questions that she knows the judge will ask.

That really left her with medical emergency and she wonders how good Rachel was at feigning appendicitis. The woman was an award-winning actress and it should be a piece of cake. "Maybe you could..."

"Quinn." Rachel reaches for her wife's hand even as she waves off Quinn's apology. "We're up next. Are you ready?"

"Yes." It's her smile that sells it. It's radiant and directed solely at Rachel. It's unencumbered of any hurt or pain and highlights that they're always going to be there for each other, sometimes a bit late but never abandoned.

#$#$#$#$#$#$#$

"Ms. Berry, I'm sorry to be blunt here but how do you expect to care for Taylor when you're having six shows a week?" The questions are not unexpected and Santana had gone through most of them already but the judge had been relentless in trying to gauge just how invested they were in being Taylor's parents.

"Well, I...I'm not. ..I have not signed on to any role." She hasn't contemplated retiring, even thinking about the word made her cringe. But if that was what was needed, then maybe she had to start thinking about it. She loves performing. Not only for the applause anymore, but for the contentment of knowing that she brings joy into people's lives. She's not a doctor like Quinn but in her own way, Rachel knows that her singing does make a difference, no matter how minute.

Giving it up was going to be difficult, "I would..."

"Sorry your honor, what my wife is trying to say is that I will actually be Taylor's primary caregiver at least for the first year." Quinn arm goes around Rachel's waist. She had been in to talk to Alex, to thank him for the wake up call he had given her and to ask for a leave of absence.

She loved her job but she needed time to recover. Quinn knows that she will always be there to protect Rachel and she's finally at peace with knowing she did what she had to do. However, the experience took so much out of her that she needed time to feel like she could heal again. "I will be taking a sabbatical for six months and with my medical training, I should be able to look after all of Taylor's needs even though Rachel's the one she seems to gravitate more too."

She turns to kiss Rachel on the cheek, whispering in her ear, "Alex approved it. You belong on stage and we'll be there in the audience every night."

"Very well, I'll grant provisional custody, to be reviewed in six months. Next case."

Quinn looks at Santana who shrugs, "It's better than I expected so just look after your family." Santana glances at Rachel as she says the words, "And things will work out."

"Let's go visit our daughter."

#$#$#$#$#$#

"So what are we going to say when she walks in?" Quinn is sitting on the sofa, Taylor on her lap as she goes over their plan.

"Mmmoma" They've been practicing for two months now, ever since Rachel signed on for a new Broadway show. Her rehearsals have been hectic but she always called every time she had a break and made it home for dinner even if she had to go back to the theatre after.

They're in their new house. Rachel had been insistent in getting a new place. She didn't want Quinn to have to face walking through the foyer every day, knowing what had nearly happened there. And besides, they needed a bigger backyard for Taylor to run around in.

Quinn misses the hospital but it's not a constant thing and she knows that she'll have to decide eventually what she wants to do. She's been toying with setting up her own practice, allowing her to dictate her own schedule. The room downstairs is perfect for her to use and she would be able to still care for their daughter.

But Quinn knows that both she and Rachel would have to make that decision together. They were always stronger together, intrinsically part of each. She hears the key turn in the lock and whispers to Taylor, "Ready Sweetheart?" The little girl giggles and nods.

The best part of Rachel's day is easy to divine. She loves her job, her cast mates and the knowledge that she's doing something she's amazing at. However, all of it pales in comparison to walking through the door of her house to see her wife and daughter.

Knowing that she's a part of a family, accepting that she's blessed to be loved unconditionally, that will always be the most cherished thing to her.

"Mmomma"

Her bag drops to the ground as she covers her mouth with both hands, trying not to cry but tears leak out anyway.

"Did she..?" She looks at Quinn smiling at her and Taylor's out stretched hands and she rushes forward, engulfing the both of them in a hug.

"Momma"

"That's right, Momma's home and there's no other place I'd rather be."

 

**The End**


End file.
